Katie Hustead recently spoke on a panel, Living Your Best Life, at Frank E Campbell Funeral Chapel. She was joined by four other professionals who help executors and heirs manage the process of handling an estate. Here is a video of the event:
Paper and data security for professionals who handle sensitive client information
If you are in a profession in which you collect paperwork on your clients – for example, an accountant, attorney, financial advisor, or psychotherapist -- you may have paperwork in your home that could cause a lot of trouble if it fell into the wrong hands.
At this point, we all know someone who has been a victim of identity theft. One friend of mine found that his tax refund had been directed to someone else’s account. It took him several years to collect the funds. Another friend’s email account was broken into. Posing as her, the hacker sent an email to her financial advisor and directed that a large sum of money be transferred to a new account.
It is hard to believe now, but our social security numbers used to appear on all kinds of paperwork. We have come across countless boxes of old pay stubs collected by our clients, with their social security number displayed right at the top of each stub. Some bank statements and medical records used to include them too.
I wish the IRS would find a way to encrypt our social security numbers on their documents, but they still appear on W-2s and on forms that need to be signed and submitted each year to process taxes.
The only solution is to stay on top of papers as we collect them, and not let the stacks of paper ever get so large that we lose control over them.
Debby and Stan’s son, Mark, hired us to clear out a lot of the stuff that had accumulated in their Brooklyn home because he planned to renovate it for them. He intended to convert part of the ground floor into a large bedroom with a bathroom so they could eventually live entirely on this floor and not have to worry about stairs. This would allow Debby and Stan to age in place and avoid having to move in the future.
It was a great idea and we were happy to work with them. They were attached to their things, but they were not hoarders. Just heavy collectors. The main problem was that they ran their joint accounting practice out of the house and the business files had taken over a lot of space.
Stan was using what was once a beautiful formal dining room as his office, and Debby was using an enclosed porch that must have once been a lovely place to have breakfast, as hers. Both workspaces were packed with files, but the files in these workspaces were no match for the files in the basement. There, they had stored more than forty years of files from former and present clients.
As we toured the basement the first time, I could see, without opening a single box or file, the names and social security numbers for many of their clients. They were scattered all over the place, in random piles.
I quickly realized how easy it would be for anyone entering the house to collect -- without much trouble at all-- enough private information on these clients to get away with some lucrative identity theft.
As we worked with them, both Debby and Stan could see the need to shred all past client files and to secure the current files. We wound up bringing our on-site shredder to the house four or five times. This company has a shredder on their truck and you can watch your papers get pulverized right there on the street. It’s an activity I find oddly comforting.
If you are in the position of keeping financial or tax records for your clients, you have a responsibility to protect this information. You are a steward of your client’s paperwork and, as such, you should stay on top of technology and find ways to handle their data and information with discretion and security.
The solution might be that you should not be keeping paper files on anyone. Or you keep just what you need and store them in locked cabinets. In this case, you should prepare a calendar of how long you will hold onto each client’s information, and you should have a clear policy for destroying your copies of their files after a stated period of time.
At the very least, you do not want to leave boxes of this sensitive information in your home to be dealt with haphazardly after you die. You should have a clear plan for them which has been expressly stated to your heirs. This will prevent them from suddenly finding themselves the caretaker of strangers’ sensitive information.
If you are keeping digital files with client information, you have the same responsibility – to protect the data you have. Please don’t think that because something is on your laptop it is safe from prying eyes. There are apps, services, and backup drives that you can use to manage data securely. And password managers are a hugely important tool. This article from the Wirecutter gives a great overview of some of the options available: Back up and secure your digital life.
It's a chore to keep on top of this data. But setting clear guidelines makes it a lot easier than finding yourself having to deal with it all at once. Or, worse, cleaning up a data breach.
Understanding Senior Move Management
Understanding Senior Move Management: How Paper Moon Moves Can Help
Moving is often a challenging experience, but for seniors, it can be particularly overwhelming. Whether downsizing from a longtime family home, transitioning to a senior living community, or relocating closer to family, the process involves emotional and logistical complexities that can be difficult to navigate. This is where Paper Moon Moves comes in—a company dedicated to making these transitions smoother and more manageable.
What Are Senior Move Managers?
Senior move managers are professionals who specialize in assisting older adults and their families with the process of moving. Unlike traditional moving companies, senior move managers offer a comprehensive service that goes beyond just transporting belongings from one place to another. We understand that moving in later stages of life often involves much more than just packing boxes; it requires compassion, patience, and a deep understanding of the unique needs of seniors.
At Paper Moon Moves, we focus on easing the stress of moving by handling every detail with care. Our services include:
Planning and Coordination: We work closely with you to create a customized moving plan that fits your specific needs. From deciding what to keep, donate, or discard, to scheduling movers and managing timelines, we take care of all the logistics.
Sorting and Downsizing: Moving often involves downsizing, which can be an emotional and difficult process. We assist with sorting through belongings, helping you make decisions about what to take with you and what to leave behind. Our goal is to make this process as smooth and stress-free as possible.
Packing and Unpacking: Our team ensures that your items are packed safely and efficiently. Upon arrival at your new home, we also unpack and organize your belongings, setting up your new space so it feels like home from the moment you walk in.
Settling In: Beyond just unpacking, we help you settle into your new environment by arranging furniture, hanging pictures, and making sure everything is in its place. We aim to recreate the comfort and familiarity of your previous home in your new one.
Emotional Support: We understand that moving can be an emotional experience, especially for those leaving a long-time home. Our team is trained to provide the support and understanding needed during these transitions, making the process less daunting.
When Might You Need a Senior Move Manager?
There are several situations where hiring a senior move manager like Paper Moon Moves can be incredibly beneficial:
Downsizing: If you’re moving from a larger home to a smaller one, whether it's an apartment, condo, or senior living community, downsizing can be a challenging task. We help you determine what’s essential, manage the sale or donation of items, and ensure that the transition is smooth.
Health-Related Moves: When health issues necessitate a move to a more supportive living environment, time is often of the essence. We can expedite the process, handling all the details so you or your loved one can focus on adjusting to the new setting.
Long-Distance Relocation: Moving closer to family or to a new city can be a daunting task, especially when it involves long distances. We coordinate everything from afar, ensuring that your belongings arrive safely and that your new home is ready for you.
Estate Transitions: In cases where a loved one has passed away or is moving to assisted living, we assist with the estate, helping to organize, distribute, and manage the belongings left behind. This can be an emotionally taxing process, and our team is here to offer both practical help and emotional support.
Aging in Place: Sometimes a home becomes too cluttered to navigate safely. Or you need to free up space for a caretaker to stay there comfortably. Or maybe you just want a bit more breathing room. We can help you downsize and organize your home. There's no move but your home may feel brand new when we're finished.
Why Choose Paper Moon Moves?
At Paper Moon Moves, we understand that every move is unique. Our personalized approach ensures that your specific needs are met, and our compassionate team is dedicated to making your move as stress-free as possible. We take pride in handling the details, so you don’t have to, allowing you to focus on the excitement of starting a new chapter in your life.
Whether you’re planning a move in the near future or just considering your options, we’re here to help. Contact us today to learn more about how we can assist you in making your next move a smooth and positive experience.
Loss of privacy and control
We are sometimes hired to declutter and organize someone’s home because of a new medical condition that requires changes in how they live. Sometimes, in fact, we are called because someone is in the hospital or rehab and cannot be discharged until they have a safe home to return to.
Some clients will now be using a walker or wheelchair, for example, and will need their home re-configured to allow room to maneuver these tools. Some will need a full-time caregiver, and will need to free up space to accommodate them.
For many of our clients this is an inconvenience or a sad reminder of their loss of independence. But they are eager for it to commence so they can return home and resume their old life as much as possible. However, for our intensely private clients, these changes can be emotionally devastating. These clients have spent years, even decades, making their home a personal sanctum, untouched by anyone else. Suddenly, they are helpless as others descend on the space, making decisions without our client’s input.
I often think of our client Dan as an excellent example of this. Dan rented a small one-bedroom apartment in the East Village. He was in his fifties and had fallen quite ill and spent months in rehab. His doctors were ready to discharge him and he was eager to move back home, but there were a few obstacles. He lived on the fourth floor of a building without an elevator, he was quite a collector, and his apartment was kind of a disaster.
Dan was an intensely private person, and he didn’t want anyone seeing his apartment, not even his landlord. As a result, his apartment had not been painted in thirty years and many things had fallen into a state of disrepair. At one point the floor of the bathroom had started to sink. Instead of having his landlord repair it, Dan bolted a heavy cable to the toilet and then secured the cable into the bathroom wall so that the toilet was essentially suspended from the wall and didn’t add weight to the floor.
Dan had not kept his home clean. It is possible cleaning was never a priority to him, or he may have cleaned more when he was healthy but found it too difficult when his illness progressed. In either case, by the time we were hired the situation had gotten really bad. The few pots and pans he owned were caked with grease and food remnants, his clothes and bedding reeked, and there was a visible layer of dust on every one of the thousands of books he had crammed into his small study.
He had managed to prevent anyone he loved from ever seeing this until, suddenly, he had no choice. He could not come home until the place was deemed suitable for him, and he would need a caregiver to stay with him. Home healthcare agencies will not send caregivers into homes like this because they are not safe or healthy work environments. Dan had appointed his father to be his power of attorney, so his father hired us to clean up his apartment.
As my staff bagged all his clothes to be cleaned and boxed up all his old magazine for discarding, I imagined Dan’s anger and embarrassment at suddenly having his home dismantled, cleaned, and re-assembled by complete strangers.
There is no way to predict when or if any of us will be taken ill. But I am sure, when Dan looks back, he regrets not putting his things in order. If his apartment had been uncluttered and tidy, his family would not have had to get as deeply involved as they did. He is home now. He is furious about some of the things that were discarded, but at least he is home.
If you are a private person like Dan, you may want to put a plan in place for how you want your things handled if you become incapacitated or die. It is not a bad idea to put together instructions in your will. You can even specify a few companies that you would trust to sort your things, and you can specify that your family not be involved. If you don’t do so, the courts will naturally turn to them first.
If you don’t designate someone as your power of attorney (something we should all do as soon as we are adults), then your state will follow a formal process of deciding who this should be. It could be a parent, or a child, for example. If you have other, non-relatives, who you would trust more to understand your wishes, you should designate them legally now.
You might consider putting into writing that your executor or power of attorney hire someone from an organization like the National Association of Senior Move Managers (of which we are a proud member), for example, or the National Association of Professional Organizers. The key is to specify these things now, before it is too late.
Disposing of prescription medications
Excess medication needs to be discarded carefully. If it is thrown out in the garbage, there is always the possibility that drug addicts will find it. If it is flushed down the toilet, the ingredients can get into the water supply and cause public health risks.
The best thing to do with old medication is to try to return it to the pharmacy that sold it to you. Some pharmacies have programs to take drugs back so it’s worth asking about this. Unfortunately, many pharmacies these days have opted out of taking back the medications, meaning it is up to you to dispose of them properly.
The best solution we’ve found for clients’ used medications is to dump the drugs out of their containers into a plastic bag – a garbage bag or even a small storage bag – and fill that bag with something gross. We often dump tomato sauce into it, or used kitty litter, or excess paint from an old can. The key is to make the contents of the bag so disgusting that a desperate drug addict will not take the drugs. Now tie up this bag and drop it into a larger garbage bag with your regular trash.
This may seem pretty extreme lengths to go to just to throw something away, but we’ve always felt it was important to do this properly. The potential repercussions seem too high.
For the bottles and boxes themselves, we recommend either removing the label with your name on it or using a magic marker to cover up your details. Do not dispose of the label in the same bag as the medication itself. The containers can usually be recycled.
It takes a few extra steps but it’s worth it to know you’re disposing of your medication properly.
Hoarding
The topic of hoarding is too large to handle in a blog post, but I do want to touch on it briefly because we get asked about the topic often.
Hoarding is a psychiatric disorder and should never be treated lightly. Hoarders should not be discriminated against or judged. Hoarding is also not a word that should be used lightly. We have had many people described to us as hoarders who turn out just to have a cluttered home.
The Institute for Challenging Disorganization has published a five-level scale of hoarding. The two highest levels, Levels 4 and 5, are beyond anything we would ever attempt to help mitigate. In these situations, a home is often infested with animals (dead and alive), excrement, and insects, and is completely unsafe and unhealthy.
We have worked with hoarders on the first three levels of the scale. Most of the hoarders we have worked with are under threat of eviction and have been given a deadline to make significant progress. If a hoarder does not have this kind of impetus, we find it almost impossible to convince them to make any kind of progress.
Our time working with Sandy (not her real name) is a good example of our experiences with hoarders. When we started working with Sandy, her apartment was so packed that she had created a burrow from the entrance of the apartment to her kitchen and from the kitchen to the bathroom and bedroom. Each burrow was carved out from stacks and stacks of things.
Sandy had hundreds of packages, things she had purchased and never opened, such as small and large appliances and furniture that needed assembly. But the bulk of her hoard was comprised of newspapers, magazines, and grocery bags. These were stacked precariously everywhere. In many places the stacks were waist high or higher.
She had so many things piled onto her bed that she could no longer sleep on it. Instead she slept on a recliner that faced her small television set. We worked with her for roughly a year and it took almost ten months before we could even access parts of her apartment.
Her landlord had started eviction proceedings against her. Her lawyer convinced the judge to allow her time to reduce her possessions. Based on our limited experience, it seems that New York City judges in housing court are reluctant to evict people, so when they hear that someone like Sandy is taking active measures to reduce their hoard and make their home safe again, they will grant them time to work on it.
She was deeply ashamed of her apartment, and apologized to us constantly as we worked with her. She explained, repeatedly, that she had not always lived like this. Then she would start a long story about her health and other issues that had crept up on her. But every time she started to explain her situation, she would return to two incidents: her mother’s death and her uncle’s death.
Sandy and her sister had fought about everything involving their mother’s death. Her sister was the appointed executor and was so frustrated trying to work with Sandy that she ultimately basically cut her out of the process and made decisions on her own.
Sandy could list, tirelessly, many of the things that were thrown away that she knew had value or were useful. As she did, her voice would shake and she would get worked up into a rage.
So, when her uncle died a few years later and Sandy had more control over the dissolution of his apartment, she could not bring herself to throw away anything he had owned. She had his books, his cooking equipment, and his clothes. She had most of his furniture and all of his files. She even had the toothbrush he had been using in his final days.
The toothbrush was in a plastic bag under piles of newspapers. When a member of our team pulled the bag out and showed it to Sandy they felt sick to their stomach. It was a used toothbrush that had been stored for years in a plastic bag below newspapers. But Sandy wanted to keep it. She took it and tucked it away in a secret spot so it wouldn’t accidentally be discarded.
This is one thing all of the hoarders we have worked with have in common. They tell us they started hoarding when someone they love died and they could not bear to throw away anything that belonged to that person. Instead, they brought all their belongings home.
Eventually we were able to discard enough of Sandy’s belongings that she was able to fight off the eviction proceedings. But it was incredibly sad working with her. Despite the accomplishment of creating a more functional home and saving her from eviction, it was clear that Sandy was more focused on all the things that were gone. We could remove as much as we can, but if Sandy did not explore the roots of her hoarding, it seemed likely she would fill the home up again.
There may be hoarders reading this post. I am not an expert, and can only speak based on the cases I have worked with. But it is worth remembering that however hard you try to hide your hoarding, it will eventually come to light. At some point, due to illness, death, or legal action, someone will take control of your belongings and they will not handle them with the same care and devotion you give them.
If you take some steps now to address your condition, you can avoid having someone else step in against your will. You might start by seeking support from a therapist or psychiatrist, and consider hiring someone to sort through your belongings with you as you work on your mental health.
A couple of good places online to understand hoarding and find help are the International OCD Foundation (ICODF.org) and the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD). There’s also a terrific book called The Secret Lives of Hoarders, by Matt Paxton, that takes this topic much further than I can in this blog post.
The Importance of Having a Go Bag Ready
Our experience was similar to thousands in the New York area. There was construction being done in our apartment building, so, at first, we both thought the shaking was related to that. But something felt different. “Was that an earthquake?” It felt like we said it simultaneously. The continuing shaking and increased barking by our panicked dog confirmed it. We speculated whether the building was safe and if we might have to leave. “Just to be ready,” said my husband, “you leash Piper, I”ll get the Go Bag.” Calming down poor Piper and getting her leash on was not easy. But getting the bag took seconds.
Fortunately, as we all know, damage in the earthquake was minimal and we did not need to leave our building. But it was a reminder of why one should have a Go Bag. In our line of work, we help people move their entire homes. Furniture, clothing, knick-knacks, a lifetime of memories and accumulation. In other words, things impossible to fit into a backpack. But it’s not unlikely that at some point you will need to leave you home quickly. Not a move, but an evacuation. If you have a go-bag ready, this will be much easier.
A few years ago, when my husband and I made our bag, our friends joked that we preparing for the apocalypse. And while there are some who may see the bag as protection against the downfall of society, this article is not about how to survive in the woods with a pocketknife, 2 eggs, and match.
There are many reasons you may need to leave home without a lot of warning – a small fire in the building, a gas leak, or maybe a family emergency that requires you to leave town quickly. You may have time to pack but think how much easier it will be because you’ll have a head start.
So what should be in your bag? There are tons of resources on-line and you should ultimately decide based on your needs. But some things are basic:
A few bottles of water
Food (power bars are great here)
Food and other supplies for your pets
At least a week’s worth of any daily medications you take
A phone charger
Comfortable, lightweight but warm clothing. Bring something you will not mind wearing for a few days. You may be able to pack a few changes of clothes but go sparingly so you don’t over-stuff the bag.
A first aid kit
A toiletry bag (toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, painkillers, etc)
Hand sanitizer
Cash
Copies of your important documents in a waterproof container
The bag itself should be portable and not too bulky. I would suggest a backpack since it’ll free your hands. In my case, this will allow me to walk Piper while carrying the bag. But you may prefer something with wheels.
Finally, think about where you will put the bag. You don’t want it interfering with your day-to-day life, but you also don’t want it so tucked away that it’s hard to access.
So, make this a multi-step process. First, set aside some time to prepare your bag. Check out a few websites, (such as NYC Get Prepared) for suggestions. Consider what you would need and want if you had to leave with no warning. Make a list. Next step is shopping for supplies, which may include the bag itself. Finally, pack the bag and find a home for it.
At Paper Moon we’re all about rewarding ourselves when we do something to help our future selves. And let’s face it, there’s nothing fun about packing a bag you hope to never need. So, when you’re buying your bottled water, power bars, back up phone charger, etc, throw some cookies or a bottle of wine in the shopping cart. But don’t open it until you’re finished with the bag. That way, you’ll be prepared to celebrate.
My little pearl-handled friend
If you had told me, ten years ago, that we would come across as many handguns as we have, I would have dismissed you out of hand. Why would a bunch of elderly New Yorkers have guns? Turns out, we had no idea how many guns are tucked away inside New York City condos and coops.
James
We were hired by Carl, the executor of James’ estate, to clear out James’ apartment. Carl and James had been good friends for many years. James had told Carl and lots of other friends that he had a small handgun, but Carl had never actually seen it. Whenever anyone would express concern that James was living alone, he would say: “Don’t worry! My pearl-handled little friend will take care of me.”
We kept an eye out for this gun during all our sorting sessions. We looked in closets, cabinets, and the backs of dressers but never came across it. Finally, when the apartment was just about empty, we came back to remove the last remaining things.
There was no furniture left -- just a few odds and ends, including a small ceramic planter with a dead plant in it. I pulled the plant out so I could donate the planter and found myself staring at the cutest little gun I have ever seen. It looked like a toy.
Carl wanted nothing to do with it. He recoiled at the sight of it and asked that we remove it from his presence. It was almost as if he thought the thing could take aim and shoot him on its own.
This gun, like almost all the others we have found, had never been registered. Fortunately, if you’re emptying an estate and find a gun within a certain period of time, it does not count as you possessing an unregistered gun. We called the police and they sent a squad car to pick it up.
The police officers who came teased us about how we were all afraid to touch it. Technically, they said, they were not supposed to handle it for us; we were supposed to bring it to the station ourselves. But they took pity on us and carried it to their car. Joe got into the back to escort the gun to the precinct and make sure we had seen the last of it.
Jane
A year later we helped Jane move to Canada with her boyfriend of many years. Jane had advanced dementia so she was not involved in the decisions and planning of the move, but she was always present while we worked. She mostly just observed, but once in a while she would pipe in with a funny comment or question.
One day we brought an appraiser from an auction house to the apartment to assess some things that might have re-sale value. He wanted to see some crystal that had been piled into a small cabinet on the floor, so Joe got down on his hands and knees and pulled everything out.
As he was doing so, Jane called out, “Watch out for my gun!” We all had a good chuckle, thinking she was making a joke. But, when she realized we were not taking her seriously, she walked over to where Joe was crouched on the floor to get his attention.
She directed him to push gently against the back of the shelf. He did as he was told and, sure enough, he found that the cabinet had a false back. Behind it was a handgun. Turns out it belonged, legally, to Jane’s daughter. She passed away years ago and Jane put it in the secret compartment so it would be safely hidden away.
This time was more complicated. Unlike with Carl’s estate, Jane was in possession of an unregistered handgun. The police were supposed to fill out a report. Aware of Jane’s condition, they were reluctant to do this. They suggested we bring the gun to the station for their no questions asked gun return. Joe, however, was reluctant to walk even the short distance to the station with an illegal handgun. The police agreed to drive him. So, once again, Joe found himself in the back of a police car.
Guns can have a decent re-sale value but the rules for selling them vary by state. Please check your state’s laws before trying to do so.
However, our clients have always been more interested in getting guns out of circulation rather than selling them. Many cities, including New York, offers anonymous gun return policies, often with an incentive. New York, for example, offers $200 for the exchange. We don’t know exactly what the New York City Police Department does with these surrendered guns, but I would hope they are destroyed.
Here is a link to find out more about NYC’s program: NYC311
If you own a gun or a collection of them, please follow your local firearms regulations. Keep any paperwork handy that your heirs would need in order to sell or dispose of them. And be sure to keep your registrations current. Imagine if the police at Joan’s had not been as helpful. It may have led to an elderly woman with dementia having to go in front of a judge for illegal possession of a firearm.
Like everything you own, a gun collection may end up becoming your heirs or caretaker’s responsibility. Keeping them informed of the collection along with all the paperwork will be greatly appreciated. And if you do decide to keep registered guns, please keep them locked up and unloaded. Maybe not in a planter.
Organizing Life's Daily Demands Interviews Paper Moon Moves
We were honored to be interviewed by Peter Gordon, a certified daily money manager and owner of New York Financial Organizers. In this interview, we discuss the main reasons people call a senior move manager as well as what happens to your belongings if something were to happen to you. How difficult would it be if your executor or family members suddenly had to come in and figure out what to do with all of your stuff? I talk about my sister and how I want to avoid leaving her a big confusing situation to manage if my husband and I pre-decease her.
We have partnered with Peter over the years when clients have found that staying on top of paperwork has become too challenging for them. He and his business partner patiently help their clients re-gain control over their bills.
We talked about how we both help elderly clients prepare for the future:
We talked about the reasons people call a senior move manager, and how to think about what would happen to all of your stuff in an emergency.
”Since 2009, Paper Moon Moves has been sorting, selling, donating, and managing our clients’ cherished belongings, and ensuring that they have just what they need for the next stage of their lives. If you’re faced with the challenge of downsizing and moving a senior you love or handling an estate, Paper Moon Moves is here to help.”
