What to do when someone dies: who to call and what steps to take

No one ever feels fully prepared for the moment when someone they love dies. Along with the emotional weight of loss comes a wave of responsibilities and decisions that must be made—some of them quickly. Whether the death was expected or sudden, knowing who to call and what steps to take can help you move through this difficult time.

1. If the death occurs at home: call a medical professional

If your loved one passes away at home and is not under hospice care, call 911. Emergency responders will arrive, confirm the death, and transport the body to a morgue. It’s always stressful when police are called to a home but try to be patient with them and let them do their job. They will also be looking to make sure there are no signs of foul play but don’t panic about this.

If the person was under hospice care, call the hospice nurse instead. Hospice staff are trained to guide families through what happens next and will arrange for a physician to legally declare the death.

2. Notify family and close friends

Once the death is confirmed, begin informing family members and friends. This doesn’t need to happen all at once—focus on those who need to know right away. At this point I would encourage you to ask someone to come over to be with you. Regardless of how close you were to the deceased and regardless of whether is was expected, being the first to find a dead person can be overwhelming. It’s not a good time to be alone. This person may be a close friend of yours, or a close friend or family member to the deceased. The two of you can divide up the list of friends and family to call or email.

3. Notify the executor or attorney (if there is one)

If the person had a will or estate plan, you need to locate this paperwork because the documents will list an executor or executrix and/or a Trust & Estate attorney. You should reach out to the executor or attorney.

An executor is responsible for managing the legal and financial matters, including notifying banks, canceling services, and handling property. At this point, if there is an executor, they can take over the rest of the things on this list. They may want your help with some things, but technically they should be the one making the following calls.

If there’s no will or estate plan or if you’re unsure how to proceed, call a Trust & Estate attorney.

4. Contact the Funeral Home or Cremation Service

The Executor will need to quickly take care of funeral arrangements. If the deceased had pre-arranged plans with a funeral home, this home should be called. If not, choose a local funeral home and begin discussing arrangements, such as burial, cremation and any services you may want to arrange. To find a good funeral home, you may want to ask local friends or family for advice.

Death certificate: One thing that will be needed soon is a death certificate. This is an official document issued by the government that states the cause, location, and time of death. The Executor will need certified copies of the death certificate to handle legal and financial matters, such as settling the estate, closing accounts, and claiming benefits or insurance. One word of advice: order more certified death certificates than you need. It can take some time to obtain additional copies, and some places won’t accept digital copies.

In most cases, the funeral home will be able to arrange the death certificates. Make sure they can do this when you hire them. They will need some basic details about the deceased (full legal name, social security number, place and date of birth, etc.). The funeral home then needs to file the certificate with the state, before certified copies can be issued.

5. Call the person’s employer (if applicable)

If the deceased was still working, contact their employer. Ask about any final paycheck, benefits, or life insurance provided through work. The employer can also notify coworkers and remove the person from any active roles or accounts.

6. Life insurance companies and financial institutions

Reach out to any known life insurance companies to begin the claims process. You’ll likely need a certified death certificate. Similarly, banks, credit unions, and investment firms should be informed so accounts can be secured and next steps taken. Almost all of these places will require a death certificate before they will take any action.

7. Inform government agencies

You’ll need to notify:

• Social Security Administration – especially if the deceased was receiving benefits.

• Veterans Affairs (if applicable) – to stop payments and explore any burial benefits.

• The DMV – to cancel the driver’s license and prevent identity theft.

8. Contact utility companies, subscriptions, and other services

Begin a list of all the accounts and services in the person’s name: utilities, phone, internet, credit cards, insurance policies, streaming services, etc. Cancel or transfer them as needed. This can be a bit complicated since some services, like electricity and water, need to be left on until the home is cleared out, but you need to make sure that these services are all paid for in the interim.

9. Consider a professional organizer or move manager

A lot of the above takes time. Sometimes just getting the death certificate can take a few weeks. You may find yourself feeling confused about what you can do, and when, and often you will find that you need to wait until one step is taken care of before you can proceed with the next.

Usually, you cannot just start removing things from a person’s home after they die. This is something to talk to the Trust & Estate attorney about before you start to take any actions.

If the deceased lived alone or accumulated a large number of belongings, a professional move manager or organizer can help sort, distribute, donate, or clear out the home respectfully. This can be especially helpful if you live far away or need guidance in managing a lifetime of possessions.

A final thought

In the days and weeks following a death, everything can feel overwhelming. And facing a death like this is particularly challenging because we don’t tend to do it more than once or twice in our lives, so we can’t develop expertise.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to take care of everything all at once and you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to friends and family for support. If there isn’t anyone to help you for free, you may want to hire someone, like a death doula or afterlife consultant. These are fields that many people don’t know about but can be quite valuable. They can help you with everything on this list and they know all the steps that need to be taken.

A friend recently told me a very thoughtful piece of advice. She said her Rabbi included this in a sermon: You are not only obligated to help when someone needs your help; you are also obligated to ask for help when you need it.