Home for sale: this time, my own

Today I walked through our apartment, emptied out and ready to be staged and sold. It was a sad but familiar feeling. As senior move managers, we are often the last people inside a house before it is sold. I can’t express enough how much of a privilege this is, and also how it is at once both a melancholy and exciting experience.

Often, we have worked with clients for months, sometimes years, to meticulously plan their move out of their home. We start with a full house packed with the memories of all the years the family has spent in the home. And, little by little, we help our client sift through it all – everything they own – making decisions about what they will keep and what they no longer need or want.

We sort their clothes, books, dishes, files, and jewelry. We sell things of value and donate a tremendous amount of furniture and personal belongings.

They are often moving because it has too difficult to maintain their current home, or they need to leave New York City to be near family. Many of our clients are moving into senior residences, where meals will be prepared, their apartments will be cleaned, and they can settle into a simpler routine.

They are often reluctant to leave and a little afraid of the change, but there is usually a feeling of hope and optimism blended in. They may be leaving one home, but they are going to another where they will make new memories. It may not be like when they were young and starting a career and family, but it is the start of a new chapter.

But what’s left behind is an empty house. If you use your imagination, maybe you can picture what it will feel like in another fifty years, after new people have made it their home. But, more often, when you walk through the empty rooms, it’s hard to think of about what the future holds and all-too-easy to focus on the past.

It’s a lot of emotions. I can’t think of any other profession that allows you to go on this journey with a client.

Our apartment feels so strange empty. My feet echo on the floors. It feels much smaller than it did when it was full of our stuff, and us, and our dog. And now our stuff is all in a new place, where we are settling into new routines and beginning to make new memories.

Top reasons we keep stuff: it gives us pleasure

This is another post in a series exploring the top reasons we keep stuff, according to David Ekerdt, professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of Kansas. Dr. Ekerdt has spent his career interviewing and studying people, digging into their attachment to their belongings and trying to understand why we love our things so much. He developed this list of the top reasons we keep things:

1. It seems useful.

2. We think it is worth money.

3. It gives us pleasure.

4. It represents us.

5. We may need it one day.

6. It was a gift.

7. Conservation is a virtue.

8. Legacy – we want to leave things to people when we die.

9. We keep because we can.

In this post I am exploring this idea that we keep things because they give us pleasure.

I saved the best for last. This is the opposite of my usual types of blog posts, because now we get to focus on the positive side of owning things. We own a lot of things because they bring us pleasure.

And that is wonderful. If something brings you pleasure, I want you to keep it and love it, and every time you look at it, I hope it brings a small spark of happiness.

One thing to keep in mind on this topic is that we all change, all the time. And things that bring you pleasure today may not bring you pleasure in ten years, or even in ten months.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed when I come across something I bought that no longer brings me pleasure. Often it was an impulse purchase and, believe me, I have had my fair share of impulse purchases! I once owned a pair of dark purple leather pants. If you know me, you know this is not my style. I had been shopping with a friend in a boutique store I could barely afford to enter. She encouraged me to try on the pants. So, there we were in the dressing room, with her telling me I looked amazing. They were expensive, but she was really enthusiastic about the pants and convinced me to buy them.

I kept them for about a year. I would sometimes try them on as I was getting ready to go out, but I always felt foolish and never wore them outside. Remembering the hefty price tag, I convinced myself that someday the right occasion would present itself.  Finally, I donated them. At first, I was mad at myself, regretting the amount of money I had wasted. But eventually I was so happy with relief just to get rid of them.

Another important factor is to really analyze what it means for objects to bring you pleasure. We often feel a euphoric rush when we buy something. And when someone suggests throwing it away, we go on the defensive, believing we are protecting that euphoria. But ask yourself honestly if you feel the euphoria anymore? Something may be sitting in the back of your closet or tucked away on a high shelf, virtually forgotten about. Then someone brings it up and you instinctively say, “I love that.” But do you?

It’s important to get into the habit of checking in regularly about how much pleasure your things really are bringing you. This way you can cycle out the things that used to bring you pleasure but no longer do so. And don’t let bad purchases like the purple leather pants get you down. Just chalk it up to a learning experience (for me: don’t shop with this friend again!) and move on.

Because the key to getting pleasure from your belongings is not having so many belongings that you forget what you have. It’s a fine balance. We all like to buy nice, but we need to make sure we don’t own so many things that we get overwhelmed.

It’s like that expression: less is more. This expression was popularized (but not coined) by modernist architects who felt that the true beauty of a building was in the simplicity of its design, not in the ornate imagery decorating it. It’s the same thing with a home full of belongings. If you have too much stuff, you can’t appreciate the individual things you own. But once you pare down, only your favorite things fill your home, and they can all bring you pleasure.

Top reasons we keep stuff: conservation is a virtue

This is another post in a series exploring the top reasons we keep stuff, according to David Ekerdt, professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of Kansas. Dr. Ekerdt has spent his career interviewing and studying people, digging into their attachment to their belongings and trying to understand why we love our things so much. He developed this list of the top reasons we keep things: 

1. It seems useful. 

2. We think it is worth money. 

3. It gives us pleasure. 

4. It represents us. 

5. We may need it one day. 

6. It was a gift. 

7. Conservation is a virtue. 

8. Legacy – we want to leave things to people when we die. 

9. We keep because we can. 

In this post I am exploring this idea that we keep things because we are taught that conservation is a virtue. 

Two of my favorite books, Mr. Bridge and Mrs. Bridge, by Evan S. Connell, tell the story of a wealthy midwestern family in the 1950s. The two books, by the way, were combined into a terrific movie, Mr. and Mrs. Bridge, which has an all-star cast including Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, and Kyra Sedgwick  

Mr. Bridge has built a successful law practice. Mrs. Bridge is a society woman, a “pillar of the community,” who is extremely focused on appearances, and how she and her children present themselves in society. She worries, throughout the books and the movies, that her children might appear spoiled. 

One of my favorite parts of Mrs. Bridge involves a hair comb. Mrs. Bridge is deeply troubled to find that her teen-age daughter, Ruth, has thrown away a comb. She confronts Ruth about it. Ruth says the comb is old and dirty, and only costs five cents, anyway. Mrs. Bridge explains to her that she must clean out old things and conserve them. As she is describing the process by which Ruth should clean the comb, Ruth points out the window to the driveway, where her father is driving home in a brand-new Chrysler. When her mother leaves the room, Ruth breaks the comb in half. 

Ruth Bridge’s character is really, in many ways, embodying the “American Dream.” She knows her family can afford to replace the comb, so she doesn’t worry about tossing it in the trash. Her father is a respectable lawyer who has worked hard all his life so the family can afford new combs and new Chryslers, along with anything else they want. Isn’t this why her father has worked so hard, she might argue, so that she doesn’t need to waste her time cleaning a five-cent comb? 

But many of us are more like Mrs. Bridge and have it deeply ingrained us that we should never toss out an old comb. It still works, right? Then we should keep it. 

What’s the right answer? Do we keep everything that is useful and never replace anything? Or do we proudly toss out anything when we want something new? Are we a Mrs. Bridge or Ruth Bridge? 

Most of our clients are in their eighties. This generation grew up at a very different time, culturally, than the rest of us. The Great Depression was still a recent memory. They had this mantra instilled in them: conservation is a virtue. And now they have all the combs to prove it. 

The problem arises when our clients need to move. Now all the combs, and all the other things that have been dutifully kept, must be reckoned with. But all of these things are still useful, so it becomes very hard for our clients to part with any of it. 

In the process of managing moves for seniors, one of the biggest issues is time. If you have the time, you could probably find a home for most of these items. You could put things you aren’t keeping up on an online marketplace or online auction site; and if anything doesn’t sell, you could do the research to find worthy organizations that want the rest. Maybe one charity wants your combs, another wants your gravy boat, and a thrift store two towns over will take the vacuum cleaner.  

But this all takes a lot of time. And it’s pretty rare that someone planning a move has a lot of free time. So our clients have to make some hard choices. Sometimes those old combs have to be discarded. This breaks people’s hearts. My only advice is to make some commitments to yourself now, long before you need to move.  

For one thing, commit to donating things on a regular basis. Figure out places near you that take donations, find out how to donate to them, and make it part of your regular routine. Don’t wait until you have a ton of things to donate – get into the habit of doing so when you have even a small amount to donate. If you finish a novel that you know you won’t read again, drop it off at the donation center. If you buy a new sweater and realize you need to make room for it, donate a couple of other sweaters.  

If you want to sell a lot of things, your best bet is to figure out how to sell things online. This can be difficult and I know that learning a tool like eBay or Chairish.com can be stressful and time-consuming, but it may be worth it for you to learn this now, so you won’t be frustrated later. If you know anybody in their teens or twenties, I am guessing they can show you how to do these things. 

The key is to put these habits into practice well before you ever need to move, because these things take time and time is something you won’t have when your move is coming up.  

Top reasons we keep stuff: we may need it one day

This is another post in a series exploring the top reasons we keep stuff, according to David Ekerdt, professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of Kansas. Dr. Ekerdt has spent his career interviewing and studying people, digging into their attachment to their belongings and trying to understand why we love our things so much. He developed this list of the top reasons we keep things:

1. It seems useful.

2. We think it is worth money.

3. It gives us pleasure.

4. It represents us.

5. We may need it one day.

6. It was a gift.

7. Conservation is a virtue.

8. Legacy – we want to leave things to people when we die.

9. We keep because we can.

Today we’re looking at reason number 5: we keep something because we may need it one day. It’s the old saying: I’m saving this for a rainy day. Or: This could really come in handy someday.

Sometimes it makes sense to keep something because it could be useful one day, but oftentimes we save too many things with this thought/hope in mind. We look at something we don’t use now – something we have no current use for and have never needed – and we rationalize a reason to keep it for a time when we may need it in the future.

Years ago we moved Dan and Sue from their home outside of New York City into a luxury condo near Lincoln Center. Sue loved Lincoln Center and had always dreamed of living within walking distance. Now that they were retired and didn’t need their large house, she had convinced Dan to try living in the city. Before the move, she purchased season tickets to the opera and ballet – her two favorites.

Dan was a little reluctant to move, and his reluctance revealed itself when we sorted with him in preparation for the move. The new apartment had less storage space and no basement, so Dan and Sue had to part with a lot of their stuff.

Sue sorted quickly and got rid of a lot of things. Dan resisted. He insisted on a moving too much clothing, too many books, and too much kitchenware. Sue let this all pass and assumed they could always do more downsizing after the move, if they found they had brought too much.

The problem arose when Dan insisted on bringing his exercise bike. The bike would take up so much space in their new bedroom that they would have to sacrifice other furniture, like a comfortable chair or settee.

I asked Dan about the bike and how often he used it. He admitted that he had only used the bike a couple of times, just after he had bought it ten years earlier. And, as he knew, his new building had a full gym, including exercise bikes in much better condition than his old one. But somehow Dan was convinced that he would start using his bike once he got to New York. Sue didn’t feel like pushing back on this, so we moved it.

A few months after the move, Sue called and asked us to donate the bike for them. Dan was willing to give it up because he still never used it. He had found he really liked getting his exercise by taking long brisk walks through Central Park. He was gone for an hour each afternoon, people-watching and enjoying the beautiful sunsets – when the sun just starts to tuck itself behind the tall buildings lining the park. One afternoon after he returned from one of his walks, Sue asked if he wouldn’t mind getting rid of the bike. He didn’t mind in the slightest.

I was fascinated by this whole process. Dan had, for months, maintained that he would need this exercise bike, even though there were good reasons supporting the fact that he was very likely to never use it. But somehow, I realized, by holding onto it temporarily, the bike helped him get through the move. It helped him hold onto an image of himself during this transition period – a period of time that causes stress for almost all of our clients. Only after he safely made it through the transition could he finally let go of the bike.

Another category of objects we see a lot of (mostly) female clients hold onto are baby clothes and baby toys they have saved from when they raised their kids. They generally seem to hold onto these in hopes that their kids will have kids and that those kids will need it all, someday. They can picture themselves as grandmothers, holding a baby wearing the same cute little outfit that they dressed their own kids in years earlier.

I understand this and I think it’s fine to keep a few very special baby things in hopes that you will someday get to share them with a child you will love. The problem arises when the one or two things becomes ten or twenty things, and suddenly you have a storage issue because you hope, one day, to have grandchildren and you hope those grandchildren will be able to use these things.

A word of warning: by holding onto a lot of baby things, you may be signaling something to your kids. You may be putting pressure on them to make decisions they aren’t ready to make, such as whether or not to get married or have children. And you may be playing into some stressful dynamics. If they are in a relationship, their partner may not be on the same page about having kids, for example. If they are not in a relationship, by keeping all these baby things you may be making them feel like there is something wrong with them because they should be with someone and should have kids.

Keeping things like this can be described as “aspirational keeping”: I am keeping something because I will use it one day or when my life changes and I will need it.

There’s a lot to explore on this topic. I suggest that, instead of just keeping things you investigate why you are holding on to them. If you look at something and say to yourself: “someday I will use this”, ask yourself these questions: Are you certain something will change in your life and you will need this, or are you just hopeful that something will change and you will need it? And: why is it so important to you that this change take place?

If you haven’t used your exercise equipment in years, ask yourself why the future will be different? If using the equipment has been a goal of yours for years, what’s been stopping you? It will likely turn out the issue runs deeper than you think.

In the case of the people hoping for grandchildren, a good question to ask is: are grandchildren so important to you that you will be upset if you don’t ever have them? If the answer is yes, you may want to pause and focus on other ways you can start to imagine a fulfilling future. Because being a grandparent is not something you get to choose – it is something that is chosen for you, by someone else. It is completely out of your control. There are things you can control. You can find new hobbies or make new friends, or you can start another career if that interests you.

 Either way, we encourage you to always ask why you are holding onto something and to let the answers help you understand yourself and your situation.

Top reasons we keep stuff: it was a gift

Top nine reasons we keep stuff: It was a gift

This is another post in a series exploring the top reasons we keep stuff, according to David Ekerdt, professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of Kansas. Dr. Ekerdt has spent his career interviewing and studying people, digging into their attachment to their belongings and trying to understand why we love our things so much. He developed this list of the top reasons we keep things:

1. It seems useful.

2. We think it is worth money.

3. It gives us pleasure.

4. It represents us.

5. We may need it one day.

6. It was a gift.

7. Conservation is a virtue.

8. Legacy – we want to leave things to people when we die.

9. We keep because we can.

In this post we will be exploring reason #6: we keep things because they were gifts. Dr. Ekerdt has some thoughtful ideas on this topic. He asks us to think about whether we like the gift or not, and if we have positive feelings about the gift giver. If we like the gift and have positive feelings about the person who gave it us, there’s no issue. The gift makes us happy, so it stays in our home.

The issue arises when we don’t like a gift or when we have a complicated relationship with the person who gave it to us.

If we are close to the gift giver and want to avoid harming the relationship, but we don’t like the gift, we may feel like we have to keep it to avoid hurting their feelings and potentially damaging the relationship. In some cases, this may be the best option. Maybe your good friend gave you a vase that you don’t like, but the vase is relatively small so you can keep it out on display but tucked out of sight. This probably doesn’t cause much trouble, so you may decide it’s worth hanging onto.

But if the gift can’t be tucked away somewhere out of sight, you may find that it is bothering you to have to keep it out. You may find that the vase sort of annoys you each time you see it, and because you associate it with your good friend, you find that you feel slightly annoyed about your friend on a regular basis.

In this case, the gift – the unwanted object in your home – may actually be causing some harm to an otherwise healthy relationship because it is now infused with a lie – the lie that you enjoy this gift. Every time you see the gift, you are reminded of this lie and the lie could start to erode the positive feelings you have about the gift giver.

In this case Dr. Eckerdt suggests that you put the gift in perspective to your overall relationship with the person who gave it to you. You are close to this person, so you have probably known them a long time and you have probably exchanged lots of other gifts back and forth.

The best option here may be to give the gift to someone else – donate it or give it to a friend who actually likes it. If the gift-giver asks where it is, you can try being honest with them. They may be slightly upset, but your relationship is strong enough to withstand this. Or you can tell a little white lie – tell them it broke, for example. But you need to tread carefully here because you don’t want a lie to come between you and the gift giver.

A client of ours named Steve had a good relationship with his stepfather, an artist. His stepfather kept giving his art to Steve and his wife. Some of the art was quite large and Steve and his wife lived in a relatively small apartment. Steve and his wife had a decent relationship with Steve’s stepfather, but they did not care for his art and they didn’t want to hang the art in their apartment, so they took a slight risk.

They donated the art to a new homeless shelter opening in the neighborhood. The shelter was happy to have it because they didn’t have a budget for art. This made Steve and his wife feel good. So the gift itself – the art – actually had its intended effect: it made the recipients feel good. The risk was that Steve’s stepfather might ask about the art one day. Steve felt prepared to be honest about the situation, to an extent. He didn’t have to tell his stepfather that he didn’t care for his art, but he felt he could tell him they didn’t have room for it and that they found a terrific place for it where it would bring joy to others.

The situation is more complicated when you have a difficult relationship with the gift-giver. In this case, every time you see the gift, you are reminded of the difficult relationship. Suddenly you find yourself feeling negative emotions about the gift giver. If the gift is out on display in your home, you may experience these negative emotions multiple times a day. This will only make a difficult relationship even more difficult.

A client of ours (we’ll call her Lisa) had a complicated relationship with her sister. They had never been close as kids and when they got older, things just got worse. Lisa found her sister rude and unsupportive. Her sister married someone with a well-paying career, and suddenly became rather wealthy. As her wealth grew, so did the cost of her gifts. Finally, one year for Christmas she gave Lisa a very expensive ceramic gravy boat in the shape of a swan.

Lisa hated the swan. It wasn’t her style and she found it ostentatious. She knew she would never use it. She put it in a cabinet and only ever thought of it when she had to poke around in the cabinet looking for something she needed. As we sorted with Lisa and she showed us this swan, she became visibly agitated. She held it out at arms’ length and started telling us all the bad things her sister had done to her over the years and how much she hated this swan.

Suddenly she threw the swan down on the floor and it smashed to pieces. She started laughing! She was ecstatic. This act of destruction actually had a cathartic effect on her, and she joyfully swept up all the broken pieces.

The ceramic swan had been a reminder of the many bad feelings she had about her sister, and, every time she saw it, she would re-live those feelings. With the swan now out of her home and out of her life, she had one less reason to be annoyed about her relationship with her sister.

The discussion becomes a little different when you like the gift but have a complicated relationship with the gift giver. You can think about this in two different ways. On the one hand, you could enjoy the gift and quietly remind yourself, when you use it, that it is a positive aspect of an otherwise difficult relationship. Your enjoyment of the gift may help you feel grateful to have this person in your life and could help you appreciate their other good qualities.  

If, on the other hand, every time you see or use the gift, you have the angry feelings Lisa had, then you may decide that it’s not worth having this object in your life, even if you like it. You may want to sell or donate this gift and buy yourself something similar. It just may be that this is the better path to take – if it will help mitigate the anger you hold towards the recipient.

You may be holding onto any number of things you don’t particularly like but you feel you should keep because they were gifts. This is a common feeling – this sense of guilt or obligation. Many of us want to avoid the awkward discussion that may come up if someone asks about something they gave you. But instead of just mindlessly keeping the object, we suggest you explore the dynamic a little further and make sure that keeping the gift really is the best option or if there may be another way to handle the situation, a way that could be better for your relationship with the gift giver, in the long-term.

Top reasons we keep stuff: we think it is worth money

David Ekerdt at the University of Kansas is a personal hero of mine. He is a professor of sociology and gerontology who has focused his academic career on understanding why we keep stuff. He has spent his career interviewing and studying people, digging into their attachment to their belongings and trying to understand why we love our things so much. He has come up with a list of the top reasons we keep things:

1. It seems useful.

2. We think it is worth money.

3. It gives us pleasure.

4. It represents us.

5. We may need it one day.

6. It was a gift.

7. Conservation is a virtue.

8. Legacy – we want to leave things to people when we die.

9. We keep because we can.

I can’t decide which reason I like the best. I love them all because they all help me understand my clients, and myself, better. But the one that gets to me the most is the second one. We keep a lot of things because we think they are worth money.

We see this constantly. I’d say that this topic practically comes up on a daily basis as we are managing senior moves. I remember Gertrude, one of my first clients, fifteen years ago, had a painting hanging in her hallway. The very first time I met her, before she even showed me into her living room, she paused at the painting and said “this is worth a lot of money.”

We had a lot of work to do to prepare for her move. Her husband had dementia and she and he were making a very large move to Texas to be near their daughter. Back then, I used to do all the sorting myself (something our excellent staff does now) so I spent hours and hours sorting through clothes, closets, kitchen cabinets, and closets with Gertrude. And every time we passed the painting in the hall, she told me it was worth a lot of money.

Finally, one day I asked her about it. I asked her where she bought it and how she knew it was worth so much. She replied that she didn’t remember where she got it. She thought it might have belonged to a friend who moved. And she didn’t know the artist’s name, either. There wasn’t a signature or any other markings.

The reason she knew, without a doubt, that it was worth a lot of money is that her neighbor’s sister worked at an antique store and told her one day that it was valuable.

I tracked down the neighbor’s sister and sent her a photo of the painting. She replied with a short note: “I remember that piece of Gertrude’s. I thought it was pretty. I was sure I could sell it for a couple hundred dollars in my shop, but I had to close the shop a few years ago. People stopped coming in.”

We see this all the time. Movies, TV, and novels have inundated us with stories about an old, seemingly junky belonging tucked away in a closet that’s actually worth a king’s fortune. It’s a good story, this is why it shows up on so many reality TV shows. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen very often in reality. What happened in this case is much more common.

The shop-owner made an offhand comment about a piece being valuable. She was thinking she could sell it for maybe $400. She’d make about $100 in commission and Gertrude would make about $300. But Gertrude heard the word “valuable” and started believing she stumbled on that legendary golden ticket. She was thinking in the tens of thousands, Meanwhile, the window for even the low payday had closed. Things do not get more expensive simply because they’re older. There’s a right time to sell something. Clearly, the type of items the shop-owner was selling had gone out of fashion. She had to close her store and, with it, the likelihood of selling the painting.

I still did some due diligence. I sent the photo to a few auction houses and dealers to see if there was any chance of selling it. None of them saw any value. Nothing. It was really hard sharing this information with Gertrude. I could tell she didn’t believe me. She kept the piece. We moved it to Texas. I don’t believe she intended to hang it in her new home. I don’t think she particularly liked the painting. She had just become attached to the idea that it was valuable and couldn’t accept donating it.

A few years ago we were hired by Mary to empty her Aunt Fran’s apartment after she died. Fran had lived independently in Brooklyn, far from any other family. Mary used to love visiting her and was visibly upset by her death.

Mary was realistic about the fact that there wasn’t much of value in the apartment. She mostly just wanted to make sure we found any hidden family photos or jewelry, and she wanted us to donate as much as we could. But the first time she took us to the kitchen she hesitated and pointed to the lamp hanging above the table.

“This isn’t a Tiffany lamp, is it?” she asked. She seemed almost embarrassed to be asking, but there was also almost a pleading in her voice. It was most definitely not a Tiffany lamp. It looked like it was factory-made and was, in fact, not even made of glass. But Fran had told everyone, for years, that it was by Tiffany. She had warned Mary to make sure she got a good price for it someday, and not get swindled by some dealer looking to profit off of the lamp.

We always do need to check these things out for our clients so I sent photos of the lamp to an appraiser and asked if there was any chance it was by Tiffany, or even valuable. She confirmed that this was a manufactured lamp, probably factory-made. And she thanked me for giving her a good chuckle on a rather grim day.

When I told Mary (leaving out the part about the chuckle, of course) I could tell she was not at all surprised, but she was clearly disappointed. She joked that she was actually glad her aunt was dead because this news would have killed her.

A lot of our clients think their things are worth a lot of money because they paid a lot of money for them when they bought them. They can remember, sometimes to the dollar, how much they spent on something thirty years ago or more, and they assume it is worth even more now.

The sad thing about art, or furniture, or jewelry, or anything we own is that they are only worth money two times: when you buy it and when you sell it. When you buy it, it is worth exactly the amount you pay for it. When you sell it, it is worth exactly what someone pays you for it. How much money you spent on something a long time ago has no bearing on how much it is worth now. To find out what is worth now, you have to try to sell it and see what someone will pay you.

In Fran’s case, it didn’t do any harm for her to believe she had a Tiffany lamp because she loved it and she needed the light in her kitchen. But in Gertrude’s case, she looked at a painting that she didn’t like, multiple times a day, because she thought it was worth a lot of money, and then she paid to move it to Texas. It makes me sad to see this kind of misplaced attachment.

If you’re going to buy things for the value, treat it like you would treat an investment in the stock market. Pay attention to trends and try to buy low and sell high.

I wish people focused less on the monetary value of their belongings and appreciated them for their other values. Buy stuff you love, stuff that makes you happy. Maybe you’ll get lucky and, when the time comes, sell it for a lot of money. But, if not, you’ll know you still valued it for all those years.

Clothing, clothing, everywhere…but not a thing to wear

Almost all of our clients have a lot of clothes. And we get it. It’s a lot easier to shop for new clothes than it is to get rid of clothes you no longer wear, so the collection of clothing in your home is much more likely to grow than to shrink. And everywhere you look – social media, magazines, movies and television shows, etc. – people are wearing stunning new clothes that make you want to buy more.

There’s no simple solution to the clothing issue, but we have learned some techniques that you may find helpful.

How to sort your closet

As with any downsizing project, we always suggest making clothing sorting as easy as possible. The key is to break down the project into manageable parts. So instead of setting aside your full Saturday and committing to sorting all your clothes in one day, break the project down into sessions. Schedule three hours at a time and put the sessions in your calendar.

For these sessions, turn off distractions. Turn off phone notifications, don’t turn on the television, try to even avoid leaving your closet for the duration.

As you sort, be honest about clothing you haven’t worn in a long time. If it’s the wrong size, don’t keep it just in the hopes that it will fit you again someday. If it’s torn or needs a patch, give yourself a deadline – if you can repair it in the next three weeks, you can keep it; if not, just admit that it won’t be repaired and get rid of it.

Make a plan for the clothes you will not be keeping. In New York City we have a lot of thrift stores that will take gently used clothing. You will need to bag it up and bring it to them, so plan accordingly. If you own couture clothing, there are some great online options for selling your things, like the RealReal or Linda’s Stuff. But if your clothing isn’t couture, we don’t recommend that you spend much time trying to sell it.

Once you have sorted through all your clothes and (hopefully) reduced the amount significantly, be sure you have a plan in mind for not accumulating a lot more and winding back up at square one. Here are a couple of ideas for how to do this:

Make a commitment to not buy any new clothes

Select a period of time, like 90 days, and commit to not buying any new clothes for that period. The goal is to set yourself up for success, so be thoughtful about your plan. By putting an end date on your calendar, you may find it easier to handle having a limited wardrobe, because you will know that it is temporary. And you can even tell yourself that you’ll reward yourself at the end of the 90 days, by doing a small amount of shopping then.

Project 333

This is a minimalist challenge. It’s not for everyone, but I want to mention it for those of you looking to change your relationship with your clothes. Essentially, you sort through your clothing and select only 33 items to wear for three months. There are different sets of rules to this challenge, but most of them say you don’t have to include underwear, sleepwear, and workout clothing in the 33.

Don’t get rid of all the other things you own. Just pack it all up and put it away somewhere just out of reach. At the end of the three-month period you bring all your clothes out of storage and select 33 new pieces to wear for the next three months.

I have tried this challenge myself. I found it liberating to have fewer clothes to choose from each morning. The nice thing is that you can try it for three months and see if it works for you without committing to it long term.

Conclusion

Our tastes change, and our body sizes change. In a perfect world, our clothes would change with them. But, of course, the clothes remain exactly the same. It may be hard to admit, but if you have not fit in a blouse for two years, it’s not likely you’ll fit into it next year.  And while clothes do go in and out of style, that takes some time. Is it worth keeping something for 15 years in the hope you will want to wear it again?

It's counter-intuitive, but having a packed closet actually makes it harder to be creative with your outfits. It’s just too overwhelming. By focusing on the pieces you truly love to wear, you can have more fun mixing up the pieces. And you’ll always feel good about your outfits.

Decluttering is an act of love

Look around your home. You probably see a lot of stuff you love. Maybe you have bookcases full of books you’ve read or plan to read one day, maybe you have art that you have collected one piece at time. There is the furniture you have spent your entire adult life accumulating, and maybe an assortment of cool and unique decorative items you have curated. It’s all good stuff, right? Somebody would be lucky to have it all if you were no longer here, right? Your stuff would never pose a problem to anyone, would it? 

For fifteen years, my husband, Joe, and I have owned a small business in New York City clearing out estates and helping seniors move. People hire us for a variety of reasons – a parent has died and their apartment needs to be emptied, an aunt needs to move into a senior residence, a friend with dementia can no longer safely live alone and needs to make room in her home for a caregiver.

The one thing every job has in common is that there is suddenly a large amount of stuff that has to be moved, sold, donated, or discarded. And it usually has to be handled quickly. All of these things have been peacefully sitting in our clients’ homes, not drawing a lot of attention to themselves. But, suddenly, they become the focus of everybody’s attention, and they cause a tremendous amount of stress.

Here's the sad truth about our stuff. The vast majority of it is no longer worth anything. Especially if you have to sell it all within a deadline. In fact, removing our stuff is likely to take a lot of time and cost a lot of money. And it will all have to be removed someday. That day may come without warning but it will come with a price tag and a deadline.

All that stuff in your home, all that stuff you love, you have collected your whole life, right? It has taken you years to accumulate it all. Now imagine someone you love having to deal with it all in a matter of months, or possibly weeks.  

If you rent your home, would your landlord allow your family to keep the lease long enough for your family to sell every last piece of furniture? Most likely, not. If you own your home, how long do you think your heirs will be able to pay to maintain it while they try to find a good home for every piece of art? This is not a happy thing to think about, but I can tell you it will be a very real problem for someone you love. 

Most people aren’t aware that this will be an issue, but we see it every day. We know this problem is lurking inside every home, all over the world. Whether you’re forty, fifty, or eighty, you need to realize that your stuff will someday become a burden to someone you love.

I believe the greatest gift you can give to the people you love is to start taking steps to downsize your possessions now. We have blog posts to help, starting with this basic step-by-step guide: Decluttering: Where do I start?

What happens during a sorting session with Paper Moon Moves?

One of the main roles we play when planning a client’s move is helping our them sort their belongings so they can decide what to move to their new home and what to sell, donate, give away, or discard. We call these sessions (surprise, surprise) sorting sessions.

Some clients need just a few sorting sessions, some need many. It really depends on two things: how quickly they make decisions, and how much “stuff” they have tucked away in their home that needs to be sorted.

I use the word stuff to differentiate these items from furniture. Decisions about which furniture to bring are made when we prepare a floor-plan of the new home (discussed in this previous blog post). The “stuff” is everything else:  clothes, books, kitchenware, decorative items, photos, files, and anything else filling the drawers, closets, basements and attics of a home. 

We schedule sorting sessions to fit our client’s move schedule. If they are moving in a few weeks, sometimes we have to schedule a lot of sessions in a short period of time. But if they are moving months later, or don’t have a move date scheduled yet, the sessions can be spaced out. Each session is at least four hours long, but typically not much longer than four hours. 

At the start of each session, we select an area to work on. We always try to set realistic goals. If you aim to take on too much at one time it can be exhausting and discouraging. We  often suggest to our clients that we start with areas that will be easiest for them – in other words, stuff you don’t care all that much about. If a client is an avid reader and has a huge book collection, we may suggest starting with something else, like clothes. If they never cook, we may suggest starting with their kitchenware.  

Sorting is an exercise that isn’t familiar to most people. It can feel awkward and overwhelming at first. So if you start with things that are not incredibly important to you, you can get into the habit and get more comfortable with the process before you tackle the stuff you really care about.

Once we have decided where we will sort, we go to that part of the apartment and try to stay there for the duration of our session. We help our client get comfortable on a nice chair or sofa and then we start lining up objects for them to see. This may involve pulling things out of a closet and placing them up on a coffee table, right in front of our client, so they can make decisions about what is important to them.

As they decide, we pack up things they want to donate, or we make a pile of things they want to give away. The things they want to keep we put right back where it came from, so it’s ready to be packed by the movers.  

There really isn’t a short cut to this process, I’m afraid. There’s no magic wand we can wave to make all the sorting just happen without any effort because everything in a client’s home is something they have chosen and, thus, something with meaning to them. So everything needs (and deserves) to be looked at, to be touched briefly or held, and to be considered. Only then can a client make a good decision about it.  

We often get resistance to the process. “I can’t possibly get rid of any of my books” or “There is nothing in this closet I don’t need” are things we hear a lot, at first. But once we get into the work, most clients are able to let go of a lot of their things.

The best thing about this process is that we have solutions for the things our clients aren’t keeping. A lot of people (rightfully so) get upset if they think their possessions are going to go into the landfill. Our staff knows that there is a lot that can be donated, and some things that can be sold. The landfill is our last option.

It’s been very satisfying to see how happy our clients are once they have done some downsizing. This includes the ones who were most reluctant at first. Most often, it allows them to appreciate the items they kept that much more.  

Sometimes clients tell us it feels like their things are new again. And we almost never hear anyone regret parting with something. Usually they feel like a weight has been lifted. I used to be amazed by this but I now realize that most people don’t want a lot of clutter in their lives and really want to shed things. They just haven’t taken the time or invested the money into hiring a company like ours to take them through the process.

Recycling in New York City Part II – non-standard recycling

In an earlier post I covered the standard metals, plastics, glass, and paper recycling that can be put out for weekly pick up by the Department of Sanitation. Now we’ll cover some of the more complicated kinds of recycling. These items come up often with our senior moves business!

E-Waste

Most electronics cannot be bagged and left for recycling pick up, including:

• Desktops, laptops, servers

• Monitors, printers, scanners, hard drives

• TVs, VCRs, DVD players, DVRs

• Cellphones, tablets, eReaders

• Video games, consoles, digital picture frames

Instead, you have a few options for disposing of the above:

• Most large manufacturers provide free drop-off recycling of their products at their locations, including Apple, Best Buy and Amazon

• Most Staples stores offer drop off of various electronics at their stores, even if those items were not purchased from Staples. Please check your local store for details as some locations limit the amount that can be dropped off

• New York City has e-waste drop off sites in each borough and also hosts e-waste drop off events

• The Lower East Side Recycling Center (LES) hosts free e-waste drop off events in all NYC boroughs. LES used to have a permanent drop off location open daily in Gowanus but they closed this a few years ago but they list events on their website

• We encourage clients to wipe the data off devices before dropping them off to be recycled; there are companies that offer this service for a charge

Air conditioners

New York City will pick up air conditioners, refrigerators and other appliances containing CFC (chlorofluorocarbon) gas BUT you have to make arrangements to have the city (for free) remove the CFCs first. You can start the process by visiting the Department of Sanitation website.

Batteries

You can dispose of regular alkaline batteries in the garbage but not rechargeable and lithium-ion batteries. Stores that sell these types of batteries are required to take them back or you can take them to the city’s e-waste drop-off sites or e-waste drop-off events.

Composting

The city has a growing composting program. If your building participates, you can put food waste, plant, leaf, and yard waste in these bins and they will be converted to compost. Pretty soon composting will be mandatory throughout the city so it should become easier to participate.

Gas cylinders, fire extinguishers, and things containing fuel

These can explode inside collection trucks so should not be disposed of with regular pick-ups. Instead they should be brought to the city’s e-waste disposal events.

Paint cans

We covered paint cans in an earlier blog post.

Bulk disposal or recycling

Anything that cannot fit in a bin or bag is considered bulk. Until a few years ago, if you wanted bulk items removed on either trash or recycling days, you had to call to make an appointment but now we are all allowed six bulk items on each garbage or recycling pick up day. This includes furniture, but mattresses and box sprints require special handling. To dispose of a mattress, purchase a large plastic mattress bag from a hardware store, and wrap the mattress up before you leave it out. Rugs and carpets can be rolled up and secured with string and are considered bulk.

A few surprising things you can just toss with your garbage

Some things that you can dispose of in regular trash or recycling include: ink and toner cartridges, light bulbs (even fluorescent bulbs), alkaline batteries, and small appliances.

Recycling in New York City Part I – the standard things

It should be easy to recycle in New York, but – sadly – it’s kind of complicated, and the rules change somewhat frequently.

The Department of Sanitation (DSNY) maintains a good website: NYC Recycling Rules. One recent rule that is driving people a bit mad is that you are now not supposed to put out recycling until 8 p.m. the night before your pickup days if your recycling is in bags; or 6 p.m. if your recycling is in a secure container with a lid. Bundled cardboard and bulk items can be placed out any time between 6 PM and midnight the night before your pick up days. 

Also, if your normal recycling day falls on a holiday, recycling will not be picked up until the following week. This is something that that causes confusion and leads to bags being left on the curb all week (and people getting tickets for that!),

Now, the big question: what can be recycled with the city? There are two categories:

• Metals, plastics, and glass – all three mixed together

• Paper products – bagged or bundled separately from metals, plastics, and glass

Metals, plastics, and glass

Metals, plastics, and glass should be bagged or put into bins and should all be relatively clean. Metals and plastics that can be recycled include: cans, aluminum foil and packaging, wire hangers (paper needs to be removed), metal utensils, small metal appliances, nuts & bolts, pots & pans, milk and juice cartons (these seem like paper but should be bagged with metals/plastics/glass), glass or plastic bottles, jars, cups and containers, rigid plastic containers, CDs, DVDs, vinyl records, pens and markers, styrofoam/plastic food containers, tubes (cosmetics, toothpaste, etc), umbrellas. There’s more, but this is the general idea. 

Some confusing notes about plastic recycling:

• Plastic bags are a type of film plastic and should not be put in household recycling. Chains or stores larger than 10,000 square feet are required to accept back plastic bags from their store but the best idea here is to just get into the habit of bringing a reusable bag when you shop and avoid plastic bags as much as possible.

• Bubble wrap and dirty diapers cannot be recycled.

• Some plastics have a recycling number on the bottom, showing what kind of plastic it is. The Department of Sanitation doesn’t provide guidelines on these numbers so just ignore them and follow their rules instead. 

Some notes about glass:

• Some glass products cannot be recycled with the city, including drinking glasses and glassware, eyeglasses, glass tables, glass windows, light bulbs, and mirrors. Some of these items, if they are in good shape, can be donated to a local thrift shop, like Housing Works.

• Broken glass should be securely bundled up so nobody handling them will be injured. You can try taping them up with cardboard, for example. The bundle should be labeled “broken glass” and can be put out with the rest of the recycling.

Paper products

Paper products that can be bagged and left out on recycling days include: paper, newspapers, magazines, catalogs, phone books, cardboard cups, and corrugated cardboard boxes. Boxes should be flattened and tied with string or twine. Please note that even though some milk and juice cartons are made of paper, they have been coated with plastic and should be included with the metals/plastics/glass recycling.

If you have boxes that contained food, like pizza boxes or bakery boxes, you should make sure all the food is removed and then include the boxes with paper products. If you can’t clean off the food, the city would prefer you just throw the boxes in with regular trash. 

Photographs: We get asked this a lot. Unfortunately, because photographs are treated with chemicals, they cannot be recycled with paper products. They should be included with regular garbage.

Paper with little plastic windows (envelopes, for example) can go into paper recycling.

In a future blog we’ll cover how to recycle items not included above, such as bulk items, electronics, air conditioners, batteries, chemicals and paints, fire extinguishers, medical waste, and more. Stay tuned!

Paper and data security for professionals who handle sensitive client information

If you are in a profession in which you collect paperwork on your clients – for example, an accountant, attorney, financial advisor, or psychotherapist -- you may have paperwork in your home that could cause a lot of trouble if it fell into the wrong hands. 

At this point, we all know someone who has been a victim of identity theft. One friend of mine found that his tax refund had been directed to someone else’s account. It took him several years to collect the funds. Another friend’s email account was broken into. Posing as her, the hacker sent an email to her financial advisor and directed that a large sum of money be transferred to a new account.

It is hard to believe now, but our social security numbers used to appear on all kinds of paperwork. We have come across countless boxes of old pay stubs collected by our clients, with their social security number displayed right at the top of each stub. Some bank statements and medical records used to include them too.

I wish the IRS would find a way to encrypt our social security numbers on their documents, but they still appear on W-2s and on forms that need to be signed and submitted each year to process taxes.

The only solution is to stay on top of papers as we collect them, and not let the stacks of paper ever get so large that we lose control over them. 

Debby and Stan’s son, Mark, hired us to clear out a lot of the stuff that had accumulated in their Brooklyn home because he planned to renovate it for them. He intended to convert part of the ground floor into a large bedroom with a bathroom so they could eventually live entirely on this floor and not have to worry about stairs. This would allow Debby and Stan to age in place and avoid having to move in the future.

It was a great idea and we were happy to work with them. They were attached to their things, but they were not hoarders. Just heavy collectors. The main problem was that they ran their joint accounting practice out of the house and the business files had taken over a lot of space.

Stan was using what was once a beautiful formal dining room as his office, and Debby was using an enclosed porch that must have once been a lovely place to have breakfast, as hers. Both workspaces were packed with files, but the files in these workspaces were no match for the files in the basement. There, they had stored more than forty years of files from former and present clients. 

As we toured the basement the first time, I could see, without opening a single box or file, the names and social security numbers for many of their clients. They were scattered all over the place, in random piles.

I quickly realized how easy it would be for anyone entering the house to collect -- without much trouble at all-- enough private information on these clients to get away with some lucrative identity theft. 

As we worked with them, both Debby and Stan could see the need to shred all past client files and to secure the current files. We wound up bringing our on-site shredder to the house four or five times. This company has a shredder on their truck and you can watch your papers get pulverized right there on the street. It’s an activity I find oddly comforting. 

If you are in the position of keeping financial or tax records for your clients, you have a responsibility to protect this information. You are a steward of your client’s paperwork and, as such, you should stay on top of technology and find ways to handle their data and information with discretion and security.

The solution might be that you should not be keeping paper files on anyone. Or you keep just what you need and store them in locked cabinets. In this case, you should prepare a calendar of how long you will hold onto each client’s information, and you should have a clear policy for destroying your copies of their files after a stated period of time.

At the very least, you do not want to leave boxes of this sensitive information in your home to be dealt with haphazardly after you die. You should have a clear plan for them which has been expressly stated to your heirs. This will prevent them from suddenly finding themselves the caretaker of strangers’ sensitive information.

If you are keeping digital files with client information, you have the same responsibility – to protect the data you have. Please don’t think that because something is on your laptop it is safe from prying eyes. There are apps, services, and backup drives that you can use to manage data securely. And password managers are a hugely important tool. This article from the Wirecutter gives a great overview of some of the options available: Back up and secure your digital life.

It's a chore to keep on top of this data. But setting clear guidelines makes it a lot easier than finding yourself having to deal with it all at once. Or, worse, cleaning up a data breach.

What to do with collections?

We are often asked to handle large collections of things. We have seen all kinds of collections – whimsical, spiritual, very expensive collections, and very modest ones. We have handled herds of decorative elephants, delicate teapots, campaign buttons, Coke bottles, freebies given away by airlines, you name it. 

We all know how this happens. You express your love for something to a few friends or relatives and, suddenly, you find that you are the recipient of those cute little collectibles for the rest of your life. Every birthday and gift-giving occasion is another chance for them to present you with yet another item in your ever-growing collection.

These collections can be fun for the collector, but they can, sadly, cause some issues for family and heirs. The vast number of items in each collection can be difficult and expensive to manage. Where once the collector looked around and admired each item in the collection as a unique entity with a story about how it was acquired, now the heir just sees a large amount of things that need to be handled, and the collection has an emotional hold on everyone because it represented the deceased so strongly.

We have worked with a number of clients who believe that because they have worked so long to create their collection, the collection must have some re-sale value. They seem to believe that the sheer number of items should make the whole lot more valuable. Sadly, this is rarely the case. Once in a while a tchotchke has re-sale value, if it was created by someone whose work is in demand, but in general these kinds of collections have very little re-sale value.

Years ago, we managed the estate of Lorraine, a woman who had amassed a tremendous collection of owls. Lorraine had ceramic owls, glass owls, paper owls, and stone owls. She had mugs, pillowcases, and t-shirts covered in owls. She had paintings of owls, stuffed owls, and owls stitched by needlepoint. 

Her executor was her niece, Janet, who lived in Florida. Janet was really stressed out about all these owls. She had no room for this huge collection and she knew they had no re-sale value. But she had loved Lorraine dearly and the owls had been really important to Lorraine.

Janet agonized over this. The collection almost seemed to hold a power over her. We identified a reputable charitable organization that would take them all as a donation, and we even found someone willing to try to sell them on Etsy for Janet, but neither idea felt right to her.

Finally, we came up with a solution. We decided that everyone in Lorraine’s life should have one owl. So Janet gave one to every member of the family and one to every friend and neighbor Lorraine had liked. She gave one to the super in Lorraine’s apartment building, another to her hair stylist, and even one to her dentist.

It took a lot of time and effort on Janet’s part, but it was worth it in the end. Each owl gift was another chance for Janet to share a memory of Lorraine with someone else who had loved her. None of these people would have wanted the whole parliament, but everyone was touched to receive one owl to remember Lorraine by.

If you have a large collection of things yourself, please keep in mind how your heirs will manage the collection. You may want to make a list of the items in the collection – or at least the key items – and designate them as gifts to be given to friends or family after you die.

Or you may want to consider giving them away to people now. You can offer that everyone who comes over can look over the collection and pick their favorite piece to take home with them. This is truly, always, the best way to give things away – one at a time, with each piece going to someone who appreciates it. And one of the great advantages to doing this while you are alive is that you can go visit your collections wherever they have wound up. Imagine sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner at your cousin’s place and being served with your own owl napkin – which you gave to them to cherish on your behalf!

Understanding Senior Move Management

Understanding Senior Move Management: How Paper Moon Moves Can Help

Moving is often a challenging experience, but for seniors, it can be particularly overwhelming. Whether downsizing from a longtime family home, transitioning to a senior living community, or relocating closer to family, the process involves emotional and logistical complexities that can be difficult to navigate. This is where Paper Moon Moves comes in—a company dedicated to making these transitions smoother and more manageable.

What Are Senior Move Managers?

Senior move managers are professionals who specialize in assisting older adults and their families with the process of moving. Unlike traditional moving companies, senior move managers offer a comprehensive service that goes beyond just transporting belongings from one place to another. We understand that moving in later stages of life often involves much more than just packing boxes; it requires compassion, patience, and a deep understanding of the unique needs of seniors.

At Paper Moon Moves, we focus on easing the stress of moving by handling every detail with care. Our services include:

• Planning and Coordination: We work closely with you to create a customized moving plan that fits your specific needs. From deciding what to keep, donate, or discard, to scheduling movers and managing timelines, we take care of all the logistics.

• Sorting and Downsizing: Moving often involves downsizing, which can be an emotional and difficult process. We assist with sorting through belongings, helping you make decisions about what to take with you and what to leave behind. Our goal is to make this process as smooth and stress-free as possible.

• Packing and Unpacking: Our team ensures that your items are packed safely and efficiently. Upon arrival at your new home, we also unpack and organize your belongings, setting up your new space so it feels like home from the moment you walk in.

• Settling In: Beyond just unpacking, we help you settle into your new environment by arranging furniture, hanging pictures, and making sure everything is in its place. We aim to recreate the comfort and familiarity of your previous home in your new one.

• Emotional Support: We understand that moving can be an emotional experience, especially for those leaving a long-time home. Our team is trained to provide the support and understanding needed during these transitions, making the process less daunting.

When Might You Need a Senior Move Manager?

There are several situations where hiring a senior move manager like Paper Moon Moves can be incredibly beneficial:

1. Downsizing: If you’re moving from a larger home to a smaller one, whether it's an apartment, condo, or senior living community, downsizing can be a challenging task. We help you determine what’s essential, manage the sale or donation of items, and ensure that the transition is smooth.

2. Health-Related Moves: When health issues necessitate a move to a more supportive living environment, time is often of the essence. We can expedite the process, handling all the details so you or your loved one can focus on adjusting to the new setting.

3. Long-Distance Relocation: Moving closer to family or to a new city can be a daunting task, especially when it involves long distances. We coordinate everything from afar, ensuring that your belongings arrive safely and that your new home is ready for you.

4. Estate Transitions: In cases where a loved one has passed away or is moving to assisted living, we assist with the estate, helping to organize, distribute, and manage the belongings left behind. This can be an emotionally taxing process, and our team is here to offer both practical help and emotional support.

5. Aging in Place: Sometimes a home becomes too cluttered to navigate safely. Or you need to free up space for a caretaker to stay there comfortably. Or maybe you just want a bit more breathing room. We can help you downsize and organize your home. There's no move but your home may feel brand new when we're finished. 

Why Choose Paper Moon Moves?

At Paper Moon Moves, we understand that every move is unique. Our personalized approach ensures that your specific needs are met, and our compassionate team is dedicated to making your move as stress-free as possible. We take pride in handling the details, so you don’t have to, allowing you to focus on the excitement of starting a new chapter in your life.

Whether you’re planning a move in the near future or just considering your options, we’re here to help. Contact us today to learn more about how we can assist you in making your next move a smooth and positive experience.

The challenges with donating

In many parts of the country, it has become difficult to make donations. This frustrates our clients to no end, and I feel for them. But I also understand the issues all too well.

There are simply too many things to donate and not enough space to house it all. This has been happening for years but, in some areas, was accelerated by the pandemic when families leaving urban areas parted with many items quickly. We’re still feeling those effects. The charitable organizations we work with have been forced to become much more discerning over the years, only taking things that can be sold in their shops relatively quickly.

Space is another factor causing organizations to become more particular with what they take. If they accept donations for items that won’t sell quickly, then they will fill their shops with things that will sit around and collect dust for long periods of time. They are paying rent for their space, and they need to maximize their sales, so these items are costing them money.

Many places don’t have the resources to pick things up from donors. I they do, they are likely only going to spend the time and money on hiring a crew, arranging a pickup, etc. for items that they deem valuable. For more basic donations, it is unlikely you will be able to arrange a pickup. Or if you can, it may be tricky to schedule and involve very long arrival windows. You may be better off delivering the items yourself. This may require hiring a small mover, or loading your car and making multiple trips.

If you find a donation center willing to pick your things up, they almost certainly will not be able to pack for you. So you will need to do this before the pick-up date. Clothes need to be bagged into large recycling or garbage bags, kitchenware needs to be boxed up with enough protection to have the items safely delivered to the donation center. Books should be boxed up in small boxes because larger boxes become too heavy to lift safely. A typical book/small box size is 12” x 12” x 12”.

There are a couple of good reasons to make donations. Most importantly, when you donate your things, you get the satisfaction of knowing that your belongings will not be discarded but, rather, will go to a good home and be useful to someone.

Of lesser importance, but worth considering is the potential tax-saving benefits of making donations. Each situation is different, so I can’t give accounting advice, but you might call your accountant or do a little research to see if you can realize tax savings by making donations. If your donation is of a high value item, you may need to have it appraised first as the IRS may require paperwork attesting to the value.

I would not let the inconvenience of donating deter you from doing it. Knowing your items are having a second life, free from the landfill, is worth some effort. Unfortunately, be prepared that it may be a bit more complicated than a simple phone call.