Katie Hustead recently spoke on a panel, Living Your Best Life, at Frank E Campbell Funeral Chapel. She was joined by four other professionals who help executors and heirs manage the process of handling an estate. Here is a video of the event:
Top reasons we keep stuff: we think it is worth money
David Ekerdt at the University of Kansas is a personal hero of mine. He is a professor of sociology and gerontology who has focused his academic career on understanding why we keep stuff. He has spent his career interviewing and studying people, digging into their attachment to their belongings and trying to understand why we love our things so much. He has come up with a list of the top reasons we keep things:
It seems useful.
We think it is worth money.
It gives us pleasure.
It represents us.
We may need it one day.
It was a gift.
Conservation is a virtue.
Legacy – we want to leave things to people when we die.
We keep because we can.
I can’t decide which reason I like the best. I love them all because they all help me understand my clients, and myself, better. But the one that gets to me the most is the second one. We keep a lot of things because we think they are worth money.
We see this constantly. I’d say that this topic practically comes up on a daily basis as we are managing senior moves. I remember Gertrude, one of my first clients, fifteen years ago, had a painting hanging in her hallway. The very first time I met her, before she even showed me into her living room, she paused at the painting and said “this is worth a lot of money.”
We had a lot of work to do to prepare for her move. Her husband had dementia and she and he were making a very large move to Texas to be near their daughter. Back then, I used to do all the sorting myself (something our excellent staff does now) so I spent hours and hours sorting through clothes, closets, kitchen cabinets, and closets with Gertrude. And every time we passed the painting in the hall, she told me it was worth a lot of money.
Finally, one day I asked her about it. I asked her where she bought it and how she knew it was worth so much. She replied that she didn’t remember where she got it. She thought it might have belonged to a friend who moved. And she didn’t know the artist’s name, either. There wasn’t a signature or any other markings.
The reason she knew, without a doubt, that it was worth a lot of money is that her neighbor’s sister worked at an antique store and told her one day that it was valuable.
I tracked down the neighbor’s sister and sent her a photo of the painting. She replied with a short note: “I remember that piece of Gertrude’s. I thought it was pretty. I was sure I could sell it for a couple hundred dollars in my shop, but I had to close the shop a few years ago. People stopped coming in.”
We see this all the time. Movies, TV, and novels have inundated us with stories about an old, seemingly junky belonging tucked away in a closet that’s actually worth a king’s fortune. It’s a good story, this is why it shows up on so many reality TV shows. Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen very often in reality. What happened in this case is much more common.
The shop-owner made an offhand comment about a piece being valuable. She was thinking she could sell it for maybe $400. She’d make about $100 in commission and Gertrude would make about $300. But Gertrude heard the word “valuable” and started believing she stumbled on that legendary golden ticket. She was thinking in the tens of thousands, Meanwhile, the window for even the low payday had closed. Things do not get more expensive simply because they’re older. There’s a right time to sell something. Clearly, the type of items the shop-owner was selling had gone out of fashion. She had to close her store and, with it, the likelihood of selling the painting.
I still did some due diligence. I sent the photo to a few auction houses and dealers to see if there was any chance of selling it. None of them saw any value. Nothing. It was really hard sharing this information with Gertrude. I could tell she didn’t believe me. She kept the piece. We moved it to Texas. I don’t believe she intended to hang it in her new home. I don’t think she particularly liked the painting. She had just become attached to the idea that it was valuable and couldn’t accept donating it.
A few years ago we were hired by Mary to empty her Aunt Fran’s apartment after she died. Fran had lived independently in Brooklyn, far from any other family. Mary used to love visiting her and was visibly upset by her death.
Mary was realistic about the fact that there wasn’t much of value in the apartment. She mostly just wanted to make sure we found any hidden family photos or jewelry, and she wanted us to donate as much as we could. But the first time she took us to the kitchen she hesitated and pointed to the lamp hanging above the table.
“This isn’t a Tiffany lamp, is it?” she asked. She seemed almost embarrassed to be asking, but there was also almost a pleading in her voice. It was most definitely not a Tiffany lamp. It looked like it was factory-made and was, in fact, not even made of glass. But Fran had told everyone, for years, that it was by Tiffany. She had warned Mary to make sure she got a good price for it someday, and not get swindled by some dealer looking to profit off of the lamp.
We always do need to check these things out for our clients so I sent photos of the lamp to an appraiser and asked if there was any chance it was by Tiffany, or even valuable. She confirmed that this was a manufactured lamp, probably factory-made. And she thanked me for giving her a good chuckle on a rather grim day.
When I told Mary (leaving out the part about the chuckle, of course) I could tell she was not at all surprised, but she was clearly disappointed. She joked that she was actually glad her aunt was dead because this news would have killed her.
A lot of our clients think their things are worth a lot of money because they paid a lot of money for them when they bought them. They can remember, sometimes to the dollar, how much they spent on something thirty years ago or more, and they assume it is worth even more now.
The sad thing about art, or furniture, or jewelry, or anything we own is that they are only worth money two times: when you buy it and when you sell it. When you buy it, it is worth exactly the amount you pay for it. When you sell it, it is worth exactly what someone pays you for it. How much money you spent on something a long time ago has no bearing on how much it is worth now. To find out what is worth now, you have to try to sell it and see what someone will pay you.
In Fran’s case, it didn’t do any harm for her to believe she had a Tiffany lamp because she loved it and she needed the light in her kitchen. But in Gertrude’s case, she looked at a painting that she didn’t like, multiple times a day, because she thought it was worth a lot of money, and then she paid to move it to Texas. It makes me sad to see this kind of misplaced attachment.
If you’re going to buy things for the value, treat it like you would treat an investment in the stock market. Pay attention to trends and try to buy low and sell high.
I wish people focused less on the monetary value of their belongings and appreciated them for their other values. Buy stuff you love, stuff that makes you happy. Maybe you’ll get lucky and, when the time comes, sell it for a lot of money. But, if not, you’ll know you still valued it for all those years.
Understanding Senior Move Management
Understanding Senior Move Management: How Paper Moon Moves Can Help
Moving is often a challenging experience, but for seniors, it can be particularly overwhelming. Whether downsizing from a longtime family home, transitioning to a senior living community, or relocating closer to family, the process involves emotional and logistical complexities that can be difficult to navigate. This is where Paper Moon Moves comes in—a company dedicated to making these transitions smoother and more manageable.
What Are Senior Move Managers?
Senior move managers are professionals who specialize in assisting older adults and their families with the process of moving. Unlike traditional moving companies, senior move managers offer a comprehensive service that goes beyond just transporting belongings from one place to another. We understand that moving in later stages of life often involves much more than just packing boxes; it requires compassion, patience, and a deep understanding of the unique needs of seniors.
At Paper Moon Moves, we focus on easing the stress of moving by handling every detail with care. Our services include:
Planning and Coordination: We work closely with you to create a customized moving plan that fits your specific needs. From deciding what to keep, donate, or discard, to scheduling movers and managing timelines, we take care of all the logistics.
Sorting and Downsizing: Moving often involves downsizing, which can be an emotional and difficult process. We assist with sorting through belongings, helping you make decisions about what to take with you and what to leave behind. Our goal is to make this process as smooth and stress-free as possible.
Packing and Unpacking: Our team ensures that your items are packed safely and efficiently. Upon arrival at your new home, we also unpack and organize your belongings, setting up your new space so it feels like home from the moment you walk in.
Settling In: Beyond just unpacking, we help you settle into your new environment by arranging furniture, hanging pictures, and making sure everything is in its place. We aim to recreate the comfort and familiarity of your previous home in your new one.
Emotional Support: We understand that moving can be an emotional experience, especially for those leaving a long-time home. Our team is trained to provide the support and understanding needed during these transitions, making the process less daunting.
When Might You Need a Senior Move Manager?
There are several situations where hiring a senior move manager like Paper Moon Moves can be incredibly beneficial:
Downsizing: If you’re moving from a larger home to a smaller one, whether it's an apartment, condo, or senior living community, downsizing can be a challenging task. We help you determine what’s essential, manage the sale or donation of items, and ensure that the transition is smooth.
Health-Related Moves: When health issues necessitate a move to a more supportive living environment, time is often of the essence. We can expedite the process, handling all the details so you or your loved one can focus on adjusting to the new setting.
Long-Distance Relocation: Moving closer to family or to a new city can be a daunting task, especially when it involves long distances. We coordinate everything from afar, ensuring that your belongings arrive safely and that your new home is ready for you.
Estate Transitions: In cases where a loved one has passed away or is moving to assisted living, we assist with the estate, helping to organize, distribute, and manage the belongings left behind. This can be an emotionally taxing process, and our team is here to offer both practical help and emotional support.
Aging in Place: Sometimes a home becomes too cluttered to navigate safely. Or you need to free up space for a caretaker to stay there comfortably. Or maybe you just want a bit more breathing room. We can help you downsize and organize your home. There's no move but your home may feel brand new when we're finished.
Why Choose Paper Moon Moves?
At Paper Moon Moves, we understand that every move is unique. Our personalized approach ensures that your specific needs are met, and our compassionate team is dedicated to making your move as stress-free as possible. We take pride in handling the details, so you don’t have to, allowing you to focus on the excitement of starting a new chapter in your life.
Whether you’re planning a move in the near future or just considering your options, we’re here to help. Contact us today to learn more about how we can assist you in making your next move a smooth and positive experience.
How to value your belongings
When we started Paper Moon Moves, we were hopeful about helping our clients sell things they no longer needed. We saw fine furniture, attractive art, and cool collectibles, and we thought: somebody will want to buy this.
But we learned, one client at a time, that there are few things in people’s houses that can be sold for a significant amount of money. There are, generally, only a handful of categories of things with strong re-sale value: silver, gold, jewelry, select art, modern Danish furniture, and couture handbags. This is not to say you can’t sell anything else, but the values of other things will often not be high enough to warrant the time and effort to sell them.
Unfortunately, we find many people believe that they own valuable things. They remember what they paid for something years ago and assume it must be worth the same amount, or more, now. Or they inherited things that there were told had a lot value. Now they’re ready to sell and, sadly, it’s often up to us to tell them the bad news.
If you believe you have things of value, please give your family and heirs the tools to be successful in realizing this value. Don’t just tell them that they will be able to sell your belongings; do some work for them now so they know which things are actually valuable.
One thing you can do is hire an appraiser to assess the value of everything you own. There are general appraisers all over the country who are members of the American Appraisal’s Association, and they are listed on the website. If you describe your belongings to an appraiser, they will give you a quote for the cost to complete an appraisal.
If you hire an appraiser, they will come see everything in person, take photos and notes, and then present you with a written assessment of what they think your things are worth. They will most likely list items with notable value and give an estimate for each item’s value. For things with little-to-no re-sale value, they will include generic notes, like “Household goods in kitchen: no re-sale value.”
The problem with appraisals is that they are based on the market at the point in time of the appraisal. An appraiser is telling you what you could probably sell your things for, if you sold them right then and there. Because markets change so much year to year, you should arrange to have the same appraiser re-assess your belongings every five or ten years.
If you believe you have something of value but do not want to pay for an appraisal, you can, instead, try calling auction houses to discuss your items. If the auctioneers agree there is value, they will give you a rough estimate for how much your things could sell for at auction. Get this in writing and keep it with your will.
There are many auction houses all over the world. Some specialize in particular kinds of things – like books or cars, for example. But many of them are interested in wide ranges of things. Some are very well known, such as Christie’s and Sotheby’s.
Many of our clients expect they can place their things with these well-known houses, but these houses are only an option for a small fraction of sales. They will likely only sell things of quite high value. If you think you have things worth a lot of money, you can start by sending photos to them. If they don’t respond, that is a good indication that your things are not valued high enough to meet their thresholds.
Next, reach out to some of the less well known auction houses in the country and see if they have interest. You will find many listed on the website for the National Auctioneers Association. Even though you aren’t selling your things right now, you are collecting valuable information for your heirs
If you do this research and find that your things are not as valuable as you had hoped or assumed they would be, please don’t take it personally. The value of your furniture and décor is dependent on the whims of the market. If the items are of value, leave the information for your heirs. Do not make them have to do the work once they have inherited the items. And make it clear that items valuable at one moment in time are not necessarily valuable later on.
Most importantly, remember that the sentimental value and joy an item gives you is more important than what it can sell for. Buy things you will love and use, not things that you think will make you rich. It will never show up on an appraisers report, but, then again, sentimental value rarely depreciates.
An artist’s legacy
We have been hired by many families who are emptying the homes of artists and, I have to tell you, it breaks my heart when a family is faced with a large collection of art created by someone they love.
I’m not talking about super-successful artists with strong sales records or artists represented by galleries. These works should be handled professionally. I’m talking here about people who created art as a hobby, keeping 99% of the pieces they created.
The art is often beautiful. The art is often moving. The problem? There’s a whole lot of it. We’ve had cases where hundreds of pieces are left behind. And the sad truth is that nobody loves a collection like this as much as the artist themselves did. Now the artist is gone but the collection remains.
The best solution we’ve had is to make the art a central part of a memorial service. Make the memorial a tribute to your loved one’s work. And ask everyone who attends a memorial service to select at least one piece of art to take home with them. Honesty helps here. People want to help after a death, so give them a very specific role. You can say something like this:
“Please bring at least one piece home with you. Even if you don’t plan to keep it yourself, please find a good home for it by giving it to someone who will love it or donating it to an organization you know who can make good use of it. You will be helping us out greatly with this act.”
If there is still work after the memorial, you can try donating what remains. We’ve had success with this, but it’s unlikely you’ll find a donation center that wants more than a few pieces from the collection. So, even after donating to several places, it’s likely you’ll still have pieces left. Sadly, at this point disposal may be your only option.
The families of these artists know how painstakingly long the artist spent on each piece. A spouse, child, or good friend of a deceased artist can often remember hearing the deceased talk about each piece as they made it. I always try to remind people to not get caught up in thoughts like “Bob would be mortified if he knew we discarded of some of his art.” Instead, try to remember that creating the art is what gave the artist pleasure and they reaped the benefits of that creative process while they were living. What remains, after their death, is just a physical memento. Sometimes taking digital photos of each piece can make the process less painful.
For the art supplies themselves, in New York City there is a wonderful non-profit called Materials for the Arts (www.materialsforthearts.org). They have a huge warehouse where art teachers in New York City can go for free supplies. They accept paint, fabrics, beads, craft supplies, canvasses, and much more.
If you are an artist yourself reading this, I have a hard truth for you: if you leave behind a lifetime’s worth of art you will be, without realizing it, putting a heavy burden on your family and friends. There are some things you can do to make this easier for them:
Start to give your art away now; if anyone has mentioned that they would like a piece of your work, ask them to come pick one out. They can either take it now or you can make a note that they will take it after your death.
Have an honest conversation with your spouse, children, or friends. Tell them you don’t expect them to find the perfect home for every piece you made. Tell them it’s okay to dispose of some of it. They will remember these words later and it will make them feel better if they do need to dispose of any of it.
Jewelry
Small, easy to move, and desirable – I have come to think of jewelry as the polar opposite of pianos. More often than not, when we are handling an estate with jewelry, there is someone in the family who wants to keep it. This is, by far, the best outcome for anything we handle. We love to see heirs happily accept gifts from estates.
If there isn’t anyone who wants it, jewelry can often be sold without a lot of effort. Fine jewelry – jewelry made of silver or gold or containing gems – is easy to sell. Even costume and vintage jewelry, which do not have the same inherent value, can be desirable and, therefore, sale-able.
If the jewelry can’t be sold, there are plenty of thrift shops that will happily take it as a donation. Jewelry doesn’t take up much space so shops can accept a lot of it.
Doris
Doris was a wealthy widower who died without heirs or many friends. She had a large collection of jewelry, including a ridiculously large gem that looked like a diamond but was set on a simple, cheap ring. We had a jewelry dealer meet us at the apartment to test it. She weighed it and found it to be 7.5 carats – quite sizable. Then she studied it and measured its density with a small portable device that measures the thermal conductivity of a gem.
The test appeared to show it was a genuine diamond, but as she studied the gem carefully herself, she began to have doubts about the accuracy of the device. The setting concerned her. A large expensive diamond would typically be set on a large and expensive ring. She was also concerned by the fact that the ring was kept in a jewelry box with an assortment of costume jewelry. She could not come to any final conclusions about it herself but advised us to show it to an appraiser.
We brought it to a jewelry appraiser at an auction house. He ran the same kinds of tests as the dealer but he had more equipment and better lighting and he was able to determine, with confidence, that it was real. He made an offer to buy it for $20,000. This was nice but we needed a second opinion before we agreed to a sale.
Next I took the ring to a private jeweler on Madison Avenue located a floor above a boutique clothing shop. There are no signs for the shop. You ring the buzzer just as if you are visiting a friend, and are asked to identify yourself before you are admitted upstairs. Inside, you find yourself in a huge apartment that has been converted into a private store. Jewelry cases line every inch of wall space, and the whole place glitters from the light reflecting off of gems.
The first time I had an appointment, I overheard another client ask if she could buy some “cruise” jewelry. It turns out she was looking for jewelry that was real, and nice, but not as valuable as her regular jewelry, in case it got lost or stolen during her trip. She paid $10,000 for a “cruise” bracelet.
The jeweler studied Doris’ ring carefully. He made a lot of notes and called over a colleague for a second opinion. They were also baffled by the modest setting, but they became convinced that the gem was real. Ultimately they paid Doris’ estate, close to $36,000, almost double what the auction house had offered. The Estate Executor agreed to this sale.
I don’t want readers to get lofty ideas from Doris’ story. Most of our clients have some nice pieces to sell or give away, but the values never come close to this amount. It was a once in a lifetime diamond for us.
The good news is that you have options with jewelry. If you don’t have time, you can store it somewhere safe until you can focus on selling it. Once you’re ready, there are a lot of dealers and auction houses interested in fine jewelry. Always get at least a second opinion before committing to a sale and consider hiring an appraiser if the value of the piece seems to warrant the cost of an appraisal.
Furniture
Furniture is the one common denominator among all our clients – everyone who moves and every estate we empty has furniture that is no longer needed by our clients. And furniture is, sadly, extremely challenging to sell or donate.
Many of our clients remember exactly how much they spent on their furniture. In some cases, they recall, as young newlyweds, saving for months to buy a bedroom suite or a dining set. We also often work with people who have inherited pieces from parents or grandparents. These well-meaning relatives had told them, with great confidence, that their furniture was valuable. But, unfortunately, being antique does not mean it is valuable.
The problem is that the original price paid for a piece of furniture has little-to-no impact on the price you can expect to sell it for years later in the re-sale market. The re-sale market is entirely driven by current trends in home décor.
These days people are mostly buying a style of furniture known as Mid-Century Modern or Danish Modern. This style is sleek, without any flourishes or embroidery. It is typically made of light wood, and has simple lines and profiles.
Danish modern furniture only has value because it is trendy now. That will change as tastes change. Nobody knows what will be popular in another ten or twenty years. Maybe children born in 2050 will grow up and develop a love for French country style sofas with striped silk upholstery, or maybe dark, heavy, oak furniture will make a resurgence. The market for re-sale furniture is as unpredictable as any other market.
One reason furniture poses such a problem is that it is expensive to move. So, even if you find an auction house to consign it, you will need to pay a mover to wrap it and transport it to the auction house. And once it’s at the auction house, the auction house staff has to be paid to move it around before, during, and after the auction. Then, once it sells, someone has to pay to have it picked up.
Also, and this is obvious, furniture takes up a lot of space. That’s what makes it furniture. If you run an auction house or a consignment shop, space is a valuable commodity. If a piece of furniture doesn’t sell quickly, it’s taking up space that could be used for other valuable items. The name of the game is sell things fast so you can bring in more to sell. Even with a piece of furniture that seems valuable, there remains the danger of it not selling and taking up space that would be better used for more easily sold items.
So, if you think about the crew needed, time involved, and potential risks, you realize that a single piece of furniture has to sell for a lot of money in order to make all these expenses worthwhile. And it’s not like one can put it out with the trash if it doesn’t sell. Disposal will have costs. For these reasons many dealers and auction houses will pass rather than take the risk.
Our clients sometimes tell us that their friends or neighbors saw a piece of furniture just like the one our client has selling for a lot of money in a high-end antique shop. More often than not the pieces that are available for sale at high prices are originals, by exceptional designers. There are designers that can occasionally buck the trends and garner high prices, so it’s always worth checking to make sure you aren’t holding one of these, but most people we meet tend to have reproductions, which can be almost value-less.
Donating furniture is also much harder than it should be. Again, a crew has to be hired. Each item has to be wrapped and carefully lifted onto a truck then delivered to the thrift store that will ultimately sell it and, hopefully, raise money for a good cause.
The thrift stores need to be picky about what they take for donation because they have the same space constraints that auction houses and dealers have. If they take a large, heavy piece of dark wood furniture, they know it might sit in their shop for weeks or months without any interested buyers, even if it is priced at a low amount.
Are you storing furniture in the hopes of giving it to your grandchildren or heirs one day? I am really sorry to tell you but there is a good chance they will not want it. Even if is well made and useful, if it is not popular, most people will not want it.
If you have pieces that you no longer use or need, I encourage you to start the process now of selling or donating them. If you have time, there are some reputable national online furniture re-sellers, like Chairish.com or Facebook Marketplace. Be aware that sales like this can take a lot of time to finalize, and please don’t allow strangers into your home.
Or consider selling very locally – put your furniture out front on the next nice Saturday with a big price tag on it and prepare to haggle with potential buyers. You might just find a neighbor with a truck willing to pay more than a dealer ever would.
Clothes and handbags
Until the day we’re hired to move a nudist colony, we’ll always be dealing with our client’s clothes. And it’s rare to have a client who does not have more than they need, in many cases they have many outfits that do not even fit them anymore. So, we’re constantly donating clothes and, in some cases, selling them.
The resale market is really only for couture clothing, and high end labels like Armani, Galliano, and Pucci which generally sell for a small fraction of the cost to buy them new. When it comes to sales, handbags tend to do the best. We had a client years ago who saved roughly twenty couture handbags. They were all in pristine condition and she had kept the original packaging. When we sold these bags, she made enough money to cover the entire cost of her move to the West Coast. This is rare. Most of our clients who are able to sell clothing make only modest amounts of money.
Other than couture, it is nearly impossible to make much money selling used clothes. For the majority of our clients, the best option is to donate. But even donating clothes has become more difficult as thrift stores have gotten pickier about the styles they will take and the amount of clothing they will accept.
Dorothy
We were hired by Dorothy’s children because she was on the hoarding spectrum and they were worried about her safety. She was a Level One hoarder so the conditions were not necessarily unsanitary or terribly unsafe, but – like most Level One hoarders, she was on the cusp of living in an unsafe environment.
Her main passion was clothing. She loved to shop. She shopped at the fanciest department stores and boutiques in Manhattan. A lot. When we met her, she had not only filled her closets with couture blouses, sweaters, and dresses, but she had also purchased and filled four eight-foot garment racks. And she had draped clothing on every surface imaginable.
Her favorite designers were Yves Saint Laurent, Perry Ellis, Ralph Lauren, Giorgio Armani, and Chanel. And the vast majority of her clothing had never been worn. We know this because many of the tags, showing astronomical prices, were still attached. We handled blouses with prices higher than the monthly rent for a New York apartment.
Dorothy mostly wanted to keep her clothing, but she also recognized that she had too much of it. Since there is a market for couture clothing, we offered to consign anything she didn’t want to keep.
She was happy to hear this and agreed to sell a number of pieces. She felt they were too good to donate, but she liked the idea of making money by selling them. So, we shipped them off to Linda’s Stuff, one of the largest couture clothing re-sale shops online. We were relieved that we had found a solution to help Dorothy manage her belongings and take back some space in her home.
But, as the first sales on Linda’s Stuff were concluded and the results were reported to her, Dorothy realized that things were selling for much less than what she had paid. She immediately canceled all future sales. We tried to convince her to donate and she did donate a small amount but, ultimately, kept much more than she needed.
There’s no benefit to having more clothes than you need. Having more of it does not necessarily make getting dressed easier. The opposite, in fact, is often true. People with pared-down closets are not overwhelmed with options each morning as they reach for an outfit. There is a whole fashion movement steering people to maintain a small, flexible, wardrobe.
If you have a large clothing collection, I suggest culling it periodically and getting rid of anything that you do not wear regularly. You might find there is someone in your life who can make good use of the things you no longer wear, and you can have fun sharing your clothing with them.
In fact, a number of years ago I was part of a tradition where a bunch of girlfriends would get together regularly for a “naked lady party.” Everyone would bring clothes they no longer wore and it became a giant swap meet. All of our friends would try on one another’s discards and, in the end, quite a lot of the clothing would have a new home.
Even without a naked lady party (or “clothing exchange” or “frock swap” if you prefer a less scandalous name), the options for donating clothing are still pretty good. You just need to take the time to sort what you are donating and make sure you are not passing along anything damaged or soiled. Some places will only want a limited number of bags of used clothes, so you may need to donate to multiple locations and you may have to bring donations in yourself rather than relying on a pick-up.
For couture pieces, there are a number of online re-salers, including Linda’s Stuff and The RealReal, worth contacting. But set your sales expectations appropriately low. If you are comfortable selling for much less than you paid, these could be a good option for you.
Fur coats were once the height of fashion and a mark of luxury and wealth. Believe it or not, today you often cannot give them away. The issue is that the market has declined drastically, due to ethical concerns about treatment of animals. And, the small market that still exists is not interested in second hand coats. They want something new. So we’ve had donation centers actually turn fur coats away.
If you do have a fur coat, call some local animal shelters, such as an ASPCA. They may take your coat as well as your used linens or towels. They cut the coats into small pieces and line kitten’s and puppies’ cages with it. The animals, which are often weaned from their mothers too young, are said to sleep and eat better because they think they are cuddling with their mother, when in fact they are cuddling with a dead chinchilla.
Finally, whenever you are donating or selling clothes – either your own or someone else’s – please check the pockets. In some cases we’ve found more cash in the pockets than we earned selling the clothes themselves.
China, china, everywhere
Most of our elderly clients have at least one set of china. It’s often a set that they registered for when they were married fifty or sixty years ago. For this generation, china was considered an essential part of a middle or upper-class family’s home. Sets were displayed proudly in a display cabinet in the dining room. This was so common that the cabinets are called china cabinets.
These sets are usually in excellent condition. The reason is simple. Most of this china has rarely, if ever, been used. Because they are fragile, and were expensive to purchase, our clients only used them on special occasions. Some kept waiting for an occasion special enough only to find it never arrived.
Almost daily I find myself having the same conversation. Even though our clients’ grandkids have said “no thank you,” even though they’ve read articles about how nobody wants china anymore, they still hold out hope that their set is the exception and that we will be able to sell it for lots of money. It was expensive when it was given to them, so naturally they think it must still be valuable.
The simple problem is that today’s young people don’t want china anymore. They don’t want the hassle of cleaning the set by hand and they don’t want to waste a full cabinet drawer to hold it all. And they certainly don’t want to buy a display cabinet to hold it all. Many value experiences over possessions, registering for vacations instead of kitchenware.
Aside from the lack of demand for china, another reason it is hard to sell is that it is expensive to move. Because it is delicate, each piece has to be packed with a lot of protective material. And because china is heavy, it needs to be packed in multiple boxes.
One of the first things you learn when you get into the moving business is that heavy boxes are at most risk of being dropped. If a heavy box contains books or papers and is accidentally dropped, this is not usually a problem. Paper doesn’t break. But if a heavy box containing something breakable like china is dropped, there is a good chance the contents will be destroyed. So even if you find a buyer for your set, the cost of shipping it will often exceed the re-sale value.
Very occasionally a particular set of china will turn out to have value, so it is worth checking with an auction house or dealer. But the vast majority that we have dealt with either doesn’t sell at all or sells for very low amounts. Please do not assume you are doing your heirs a great financial favor by leaving it for them to sell.
We generally encourage clients to donate their china. Most of the places we work with will still take decorative items because they can sell each piece for a small amount and still make a little money. I have seen cups and saucers sell for a few dollars each at thrift stores. But I fear that even the options for donating china are going to become more limited in the future. There is just too much of it available.
And if you’re not ready to donate, our advice? Use it! Make every day that special occasion. Oatmeal takes on a whole new taste when served in a fancy bowl with floral patterns. And it can be fun to serve your guests an after-dinner drink in a cute teacup. If it chips, throw it away.
I know this may sound reckless. You may be shaking your head as you read this, thinking of how expensive your set was or how your mother would carefully hold one of her plates and remind you about her wedding and how she selected this particular set to register for.
The key to keep in mind is that the purchase price of your china, like so much else in your home, has no bearing on what the china is worth now. Now it is only worth what someone will pay you for it. And that someone – that potential purchaser – can buy a decent set of dishwasher-safe, unbreakable dinnerware from Amazon or IKEA for a song.
Can you sell my piano?
The words I have come to dread hearing the most are: Can you sell my piano?
Like sets of china, collectible figurines, and heavy dark wood furniture, pianos have, sadly, gone out of style and have become difficult to sell. There are two key reasons:
There are more used pianos available to be sold than there are interested buyers.
As you know from film comedies, it is hard to move a piano!
Up until forty or fifty years ago, most middleclass or wealthy families bought pianos for their homes. Owning a piano was a sign of success and education, and children all took lessons. I remember how excited my mother was when she moved her childhood piano from Pennsylvania to our home in Virginia. I took lessons for a few years but then realized that I was not cut out for the piano. The piano then just sat in the living room for years, unplayed. Eventually, when our mother sold her house, it had to be discarded.
Today, few people buy pianos. Many musicians find that synthesizers and keyboards are sufficient. These are less expensive, easier to maintain, and much easier to transport than pianos. Because there has been such a drastic reduction in the number of potential piano buyers, we have a glut of pianos on the market.
It is also difficult to donate a piano and it takes a lot of time to do so. We once helped a client try to donate her piano to her church. Someone from the church came to her apartment to play it and absolutely loved it. But when it came time to arrange to move the piano to the church, the church said they couldn’t afford to pay for the move. Our client wasn’t willing to spend the money herself, so the donation wasn’t made and the piano had to be discarded.
Some pianos remain popular. There is a market for used Steinways, for example. But the amount of money you can make from selling a high-end piano is going to be reduced by the cost of moving it.
We had a client whose wife had been a concert pianist. She had a stunning baby grand in their Park Avenue living room. But, it turns out, the building’s elevator had been replaced in the years since the piano was moved into their home and the new elevator couldn’t accommodate a baby grand. The only option for getting it out of the building was to have it lifted out of a window. The cost for this service was more than the buyer was willing to pay, so the piano wasn’t sold. It had to be taken apart just to get it out of the building.
Added to the complication of trying to sell or donate a piano is the problem that pianos with ivory keys cannot, by law, be sold. U.S. and New York State both prohibit the sale of ivory.
The sad truth is that many pianos wind up being discarded. This is always heartbreaking for our clients and we can understand why. A piano is much more than a piece of furniture – it is something with a rich history and happy memories of musical evenings. And, to add insult to injury, there is a cost to have a piano discarded. A professional junk hauler has to be hired to remove it carefully and dispose of it properly.
Nobody wants to pay for this service, and nobody wants to learn that their piano cannot be sold or donated. It’s very sad to be the person to have to tell clients this news. I wish we had a better solution but, for now, we are left with no good options.
Decluttering: Where do I start?
I’m always so relieved by spring. It feels like a great time to take a deep breath and focus on priorities. For some, this means being at opening day for Yankee Stadium. Alas, for many of us, this means finally facing the fact that we have too much stuff.
Maybe you’ve been thinking for months, or even years, that you wish you could actually hang your clothes in your over-stuffed closet, or find room on your bookshelf for those new books you got for your birthday.
But where to start? Fourteen years in business have taught us a few techniques we’d like to share with you.
Break it down
Make a list of each of the areas and categories of things in your home that you’d like to organize. Keep it specific
Schedule time
In your calendar schedule three hours to tackle the first (easiest) item on your list. Schedule this time soon and block off the full three hours.
Break it down
The reason so many decluttering projects fail is because we try to tackle everything at once. Thinking we can complete the whole project with one weekend of elbow grease, we roll up our sleeves, dive in, and…. burn out! Or we look at all our closest and get paralyzed thinking this can never get done.
Just like building Rome, your closets will not be streamlined in one day!
Instead, try this: Make a list of each of the areas and categories of things in your home that you’d like to organize. Keep it specific.
Your list might read like this:
Sweaters
Records
Kitchen pantry
Books in study
Junk drawer in kitchen
Rank the list in order: easiest to hardest
Start with some wins! If you’re on a first-name basis with the local restaurant delivery people, pairing down the kitchen pantry might not be too hard. Start there. Get used to the process. Then, when you finally get to those books you love, you’ll have some practice and it’ll make parting with these beloved items easier.
Schedule a time
Don’t think you’ll spend the whole day doing this. Alternatively, don’t plan to do this here and there when you “have a minute.” In your calendar schedule three hours to tackle the first (easiest) item on your list. Schedule this time soon and block off the full three hours.
Come prepared and stay focused
At the appointed time, do whatever you can to avoid distractions. Don’t worry, Instagram will still be there in 3 hours and the DVR will still record anything you're missing. Have a few supplies on hand: large clear bags for donations, boxes, packing tape, garbage bags, blue painter’s tape, and a marker.
Look at everything
There’s no secret shortcut here. You have to decide about each item. Look at items one-by-one and ask yourself some basic questions, such as: When was the last time I used this? Do I need this? Do I even like this?
The goal here is to keep only the items you really like and use. Everything else should be boxed or bagged. Your boxes and bags can be separated into the following categories; give to family/friends, sell, donate, or discard.
Be firm with yourself, but don’t go overboard. There is no need to get rid of everything. In some areas you will downsize a lot, others just a little.
Wrap up the session and organize the space
At the end of the session, remove the bags and boxes of things you aren’t keeping. This may involve throwing things away or bringing things to a donation center. Or it may mean finding a temporary place in your home to store all of these things so you can handle them at a later date. But make sure you clean up so you can appreciate your newly decluttered area and the work you’ve done!
Reward yourself
This is hard work. These items mean something to you. Parting with them is tough. So take a moment to pat yourself on the back. Pour that glass of wine, eat those chocolate truffles, or veg out with an hour of reality television (or all three!). You’ve earned it. Even if it doesn’t feel like you got all that much done, you’ve put in the time and are making progress. And that deserves to be celebrated.
Repeat steps 3 through 7 for everything on your list. And be sure to remember #7!
