Choose joy, not exhaustion: creating a holiday that fits

As we dive into the holiday season, it’s worth remembering something: holidays can be wonderful, but they can also be stressful.

We often approach them with a strong sense of obligation. We’ve always spent them a certain way, so we assume we should just keep doing the same things year after year. But your life may have changed this past year. If you’ve lost a parent or spouse, following old traditions may feel too painful. And if your health or mobility has changed (as naturally happens with age), the holidays may now feel physically exhausting.

Even the simple act of traveling can be overwhelming. Navigating airports, long lines, and digital tools like apps and e-tickets isn’t easy for everyone. When you’re struggling to pull up a boarding pass on your phone and a long line is forming behind you, it’s easy to feel flustered or discouraged.

Take a moment to consider what your holidays might look like if you observed the same traditions but in a different way. Be honest with yourself and with your family about how changes in your life may make old routines harder to manage.

Maybe you’ve always traveled, but this year you’re thinking about staying home and celebrating with people nearby. You may have told yourself this isn’t an option because you’ll disappoint the people who expect you. But the truth is: there are no rules about how you “have” to spend the holidays. As long as you’re honest and direct with the people who are expecting you, most will understand.

It’s also important to remember that for many, the holidays can be incredibly lonely. People who don’t have family to visit, can’t travel, or can’t afford to celebrate the way they’d like may find this time of year especially difficult. For those of us fortunate enough to have family and friends, it’s a meaningful time to reach out to those who may not be as connected.

Whatever holidays you observe - Thanksgiving, Rosh Hashanah, Christmas, New Year’s - give some thought to how you want to spend them this year. And don’t be afraid to change your plans if the traditions you’ve always followed no longer match your reality.