Pressing pause
Small techniques that make caregiving a little easier
(and how we see these moments every day at Paper Moon Moves)
My friend Abby is caring for her 95-year-old mother, Sara, whose health has been declining over the past few months. Sara no longer gets dressed in the mornings and spends much of her day in bed, eating very little. Years ago, she moved to Baltimore to be near Abby and her brother. Now, surrounded by family, friends, and dedicated caregivers, she’s being supported through a vulnerable chapter of her life.
Sara is, to put it delicately, strong-willed and deeply independent. She has not taken easily to being cared for, something many of our clients’ families can relate to. Even when someone needs more help, their identity, pride, and sense of autonomy don’t simply fall away.
The other day, I reached out to Abby to check in on Sara, of course, but also on her. She texted back a photo of a small tattoo she’d drawn on the inside of her arm: a pause button. She draws it on every time she goes to her mother’s apartment, and whenever she feels herself getting frustrated or about to say something she might regret, she literally presses it.
I think it’s brilliant. And it reminds me so much of the quiet coping strategies we see adult children use during moves, clean-outs, and major life transitions. These experiences can stir up decades of family dynamics: old stories, old patterns, old frustrations. Having a way to pause, even for a moment, can make an enormous difference.
At Paper Moon Moves, we’ve learned that helping seniors and their families through a move is never just about the boxes. It’s about emotion, identity, exhaustion, and the tenderness required to navigate big changes.
What caregivers can do to stay grounded
There are many small, practical ways to steady yourself in moments of stress, whether you’re sitting beside a parent who’s declining or helping them sort through a lifetime of belongings.
Labeling the feeling
Meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein suggests silently naming whatever is happening inside you:
“This is me wanting to snap at my mom.”
“This is me feeling overwhelmed by this situation.”
We see this actually work during moves. Simply naming the feeling reduces its charge and helps people respond thoughtfully instead of reactively.
Holding an object
Some people carry a small stone or token in their pocket. When emotions spike, that physical anchor becomes a reset button. You could try this with a pebble, a favorite ring, or a tiny keepsake. It’s amazing how grounding one small tactile moment can be.
Taking breaks (even when it feels impossible)
This is something we emphasize constantly with our staff and something we encourage families to practice too.
Moves can be emotionally and physically draining. Our instinct is often to “muscle through,” especially when we’re under time pressure and eager to help a parent get settled. But breaks are essential. They help everyone - our team included - approach the work with clarity, patience, and compassion.
Caring for an older adult is a marathon, not a sprint. Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s part of how you get through a challenging day.
Other techniques to try
Box breathing: Inhale 4 seconds, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4. Subtle enough to do while sitting beside your parent or sorting through belongings together.
Hand-on-heart method: Resting your palm over your chest triggers a calming physiological response - it’s a built-in self-soothing tool.
Text a friend: A simple, “I’m going in,” before you walk into your parent’s home, and “I’m heading out,” when you leave can feel like someone is with you even when they aren’t.
You don’t have to navigate this alone
At Paper Moon Moves, we work with families every day who are exhausted, overwhelmed, or stretched thin by caregiving responsibilities. Our job is to bring order, calm, and compassion into situations that can feel chaotic and emotionally heavy.
Whether it’s a move, a downsizing project, or an estate that needs to be cleared, we help create space, both physically and emotionally, so families can focus on what matters: caring for one another.
If you’ve discovered small techniques that help you pause, breathe, or reset during stressful moments with a parent, I’d love to hear them.